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  #21  
Old 08-14-2010, 10:31 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by jkelly View Post
So the first reason they can come up with for coming out is "This person wants to tell me that they're available."

It's goofy, but I think that's also part of it.
That's perhaps part of it. I've had women think I want to date them after they find out we're poly--and they found out during a *group* conversation involving both women and men. I can't see how they would take that and construe it to be a personal message to themselves, as it could then apply to everybody in the group. Why would they think it's addressed to them and not one of the other people in the group?

Mebbe it's just cuz I'm sooooo sexy that they want it to be a coded message to them!
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #22  
Old 08-14-2010, 11:09 PM
FitChick FitChick is offline
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Plus I think when someone expresses they are poly,it doesn't necessarily mean they are available..there should be something like 'poly but unavailable' just like there is 'single and unavailable' I told my partner about this thread and he was like' omg I get that so much,every woman thinks I want to sleep with them'...wrong!! He has me and his secondar and we are all happy with that!
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  #23  
Old 08-14-2010, 11:09 PM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Mebbe it's just cuz I'm sooooo sexy that they want it to be a coded message to them!
With the emoticon there, I get that you're joking, but I sort-of think in the scenario that you describe there's a pretty reasonable chance that they were into you on some level and were looking for a way to start telling a story in which you were also into them.
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  #24  
Old 08-15-2010, 10:31 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
What does one say in such a situation? "Fancy meeting you here"--?
That works. So does
"I've really fallen for you!"
or
(to the tune of "Low Rider") "Take a little trip, take a little trip, take a little trip with me . . ."
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  #25  
Old 08-15-2010, 10:35 PM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Mebbe it's just cuz I'm sooooo sexy that they want it to be a coded message to them!
I'll bet that's it.

I'm sure it's a heavy burden, but somebody has to be that guy. I'm glad it's you, AT; I know you'll use your powers for good.
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  #26  
Old 08-17-2010, 03:12 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
What does one say in such a situation? "Fancy meeting you here"--?
I prefer "Come here often?"

*hauls mind out of gutter*

*falls back in*

*shrug* Fuckit.
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  #27  
Old 08-17-2010, 04:06 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jkelly View Post
With the emoticon there, I get that you're joking, but I sort-of think in the scenario that you describe there's a pretty reasonable chance that they were into you on some level and were looking for a way to start telling a story in which you were also into them.
I've tossed that around in my head and I think you may be right in regards to a couple of them. I like to cheer on folks I'm around in whatever they're doing and try to remember things they've mentioned to follow up on later (we're all in this human experience together) and that may be better treatment than they get from most other men they deal with regularly. Perhaps they would like to live in a story where there's romantic interest from a man who invariably treats them well, and turning him down adds a melancholy turn to the story.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #28  
Old 01-03-2011, 08:19 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myelsewhere View Post
DH has encountered the issue with meeting females in bar/social situations who are all over the idea of seeing/hooking up with him, as long as they think it's cheating. Once he mentions that I know, and that I'm okay with it, then they're not interested . . . Why do you think people act like that about the cheating vs. poly admission?
The first thing that pops up in my mind is that, if a guy is married and cheating, it would seem more likely that he wouldn't have as many partners as a guy who has permission. Of course, that's not necessarily true, but it takes so much time and energy to run around on the sly and keep secrets. So, if everything's out in the open, there's the notion that it's a free-for-all happening all the time and the guy is just getting some wherever and whenever he wants. So if someone very conditioned toward monogamy is worried about STDs or competing with others' affections, they'd probably rather do a married cheater than a poly guy.
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  #29  
Old 01-03-2011, 04:47 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
So, if everything's out in the open, there's the notion that it's a free-for-all happening all the time and the guy is just getting some wherever and whenever he wants. So if someone very conditioned toward monogamy is worried about STDs or competing with others' affections, they'd probably rather do a married cheater than a poly guy.
Shoot, I wish that were the case. I am, however, old, fat, and cranky. So, while the idea of a harem at my beck and call is enticing, it is so far removed from even being a possibility that I find the notion ludicrous. I have to wonder how anybody could gaze upon the...um, magnificence that is me and think such wonderful decadence would involve me.

<sigh> Babes wearing barely anything. Fruit and chocolate to munch on. Cozy piles of pillows and blankets. Bottles of mead and champagne freely flowing. Oh, it would be so good....
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #30  
Old 01-03-2011, 05:38 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
Shoot, I wish that were the case. I am, however, old, fat, and cranky. So, while the idea of a harem at my beck and call is enticing, it is so far removed from even being a possibility that I find the notion ludicrous. I have to wonder how anybody could gaze upon the...um, magnificence that is me and think such wonderful decadence would involve me.

<sigh> Babes wearing barely anything. Fruit and chocolate to munch on. Cozy piles of pillows and blankets. Bottles of mead and champagne freely flowing. Oh, it would be so good....
I can totally picture you with a harem. IN the olden days of the Roman Empire, being fat meant you were a man of means and if you could afford to sit around and eat, you could afford to keep attractive women at your beck and call, either slave-girls or elite courtesans. I realize this isn't the same as a polyamorous harem, but being fat doesn't mean you can't be DECADENT.
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