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  #11  
Old 08-09-2010, 02:24 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by ellie View Post
Any advice from anyone? (
Walk on and leave that asshole far behind you.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #12  
Old 08-09-2010, 02:44 AM
ellie ellie is offline
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Yea after a week of, mourning, not being able to listen to music (for fear of crying), talking to friends who agreed he totally "tricked" me and said I was better off with out him, and some heavy retail therapy (yes I totally need those red heels that say "f*ck me* hehehe) I'm starting to realize, even though I truly loved him and still care for him, he abused my trust and feelings and I didn't deserve that, especially since I thought we were so open and honest with each other.. No matter how nice to me on the outside he was. Actions speak louder than words, and karma is a b*tch!!!
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  #13  
Old 08-09-2010, 03:02 AM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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he sounds like one confused guy who drug you down though his confused relationship shit...
i feel for you both.
(((hugs))))
and please PLEASE do not judge poly based off this guy.
and yes, he did set you up to fail... you shouldn't have to TEST your loved one...
i'm sorry for you both, but i think you're both better off. i just hope his OSO is okay too... at least you tried to warn her.
(((hugs)))
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  #14  
Old 08-09-2010, 05:59 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Originally Posted by ellie View Post
I can't believe I wasted a year and a half on something which I thought was a loving relationship.
It was not a waste. Did you learn something new about yourself? Grow as a person? Discover more of what you would want in a new relationship?

If you answered yes to even one of those, then this was not a wasted year and a half. You are probably in a better position to get what you really want!
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  #15  
Old 08-10-2010, 02:33 AM
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Erato Erato is offline
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I'm sorry that happened to you, ellie.

It's great to see that you're moving on and realising that this is not the end of the world. The post break up heart ache can really swing things out of perspective. You played by his rules and he didn't like the taste of his own medicine. Personally, I think anyone who will break up with me at the drop of a hat is not worth my time (unless I have somehow genuinely done something horrible like killed their sister or something!).

Good luck with living and loving with your new found freedom. <3
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  #16  
Old 08-11-2010, 02:38 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Originally Posted by ellie View Post
I feel really confused and lost.
Yeah....sorry you're going through this....a wise friend once said...."when you feel confused, it may be because you are being manipulated" ...... looks like it's true in your case.....sorry :-(
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  #17  
Old 08-13-2010, 02:30 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Yeah....sorry you're going through this....a wise friend once said...."when you feel confused, it may be because you are being manipulated" ...... looks like it's true in your case.....sorry :-(
I'm a bit confused...as is a very close friend of mine...But neither of us is trying to manipulate the other. We are confused because we both have feelings for each other...but not sure how to go about acting on them.....My wife would be ok with it....but her husband is not really on board at this time, and may never get there, sadly.

So it's possible to be confused without being manipulated. In Ellie's instance, she truly WAS being manipulated...and that sux.
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