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Old 08-11-2010, 01:50 AM
myelsewhere's Avatar
myelsewhere myelsewhere is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SE KS (temporarily)
Posts: 8
Default The "I'm not cheating" conundrum

This is a spin-off from my introduction post, in which I mentioned that DH has encountered the issue with meeting females in bar/social situations who are all over the idea of seeing/hooking up with him, as long as they think it's cheating. Once he mentions that I know, and that I'm okay with it, then they're not interested or even tell him outright that it "weirds" them out.

Not to say that this isn't a problem for females either. Even in my short time exploring this lifestyle, I have had two guys tell me they can't do the "married woman" thing, even if it's okay with my husband. Of course, one of them made out with me in the parking lot still, but that's another story... I think it was more of a "I'm not interested in a married woman" than an "I'd do you if you were cheating" thing.

I guess it weeds out the ones who are looking for drama or an illicit affair, but nevertheless it's frustrating. Mostly frustrating to DH because he is/we are new to this and, combined with a not-so-liberal geographical location and a lack of many social outlets, he feels like he is at a disadvantage.

Why do you think people act like that about the cheating vs. poly admission? What are your experiences with it? Have you ever lied and said you were cheating just to get some action? (DH wouldn't go that route, just curious about the experience of others.) If so, how did it end up?

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anaïs Nin
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