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  #31  
Old 07-26-2009, 03:59 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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[QUOTE=JAs I read what BlkDaddy said, he could as easily mean that the little ones shouldn't be exposed to polyamory itself. [/QUOTE]

This was how I took his statement. I apologize if I was incorrect but it did sound as if he were saying the kids shouldn't know about poly at all. Of course, the knowledge about the sexual aspect is not helpful or necessary.
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  #32  
Old 07-26-2009, 04:52 PM
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... my computer chair just collapsed under my butt.
Oh, my, I do hope the chair wasn't hurt!









No..., really, you okay?
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  #33  
Old 07-26-2009, 05:18 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Yes, thank you, I felt it wobble before the seat fell off!
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  #34  
Old 07-27-2009, 07:25 AM
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oh my ygirl... you a bit squiffy my friend?

I tell my boy that I love Mono and that he is a part of our chosen family. He doesn't need to know more than that. He knows I love his dad and other family members... and we have confidence in that love, what more does he need to know really. Not only that he is loved by all of us too. That is what Poly is all about, not just the sex!
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  #35  
Old 07-28-2009, 04:06 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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I don't think you have to hide that you care for and value any partner other than a spouse. Kids adapt to how their families operate without any trouble. They won't necessarily understand exactly how it all ties together until they get older; they'll just know that there are more people mommy & daddy love, and as long as it doesn't threaten their security, it's OK.

My children are no longer small. My youngest is 12 and knows I have a wife and that I was also seeing her mother from before her 11th birthday to last autumn, and that my wife (the step-mother) knew all about it. We didn't explain it to her and it never came up as a problem. Since her mother and I have split, I don't spend as much time at their apartment when I visit, which I suspect she misses (she likes having all the parents together at the same time). My son was old enough to tell what, exactly, was going on and he didn't bat an eye, as he's been exposed to all manner of loving arrangements over the years.
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  #36  
Old 07-29-2009, 04:39 PM
Degenerate Degenerate is offline
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HI

I am new here so this will be my first discussion post. thought might be worth sharing my own exeprience a tad.

I have one almost teen and two almost five year olds (and am in the UK). With my eldest I kept it quiet for years - back then I lived with her other parent and I saw other partner/s away from home,

As I have matured as a polyamorous person (17 years now) I have found less and less need to hide what is not shameful - love is not adult-only. it is also hard to have any kind of relationships where people do not come to my house in order to keep total secrecy.

I agree with a few other posters that teaching our kids deceit instead of love is a bad idea. These days I give my children information on an age appropriate 'need to know' basis without complicating it with things they don't need to know. Children learn how it is without the prejudices others have. So my youngest ones probably don't understand yet that most people don't have two partners, who are sometimes there together,but they know I do and they enjoy having other caring adults in their lives - neither of my partners live with me, but they do hang out with all of us.

With so many one parent families struggling in the UK, I see no reason for me to deny my children caring relationships with safe adults as long as they always understand I am their parent and I am responsible and reliable as a parent.

De

Last edited by Degenerate; 08-26-2009 at 12:46 AM.
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  #37  
Old 08-02-2009, 06:56 PM
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My girl's man has two adorable kids, and a third he see's once every two weeks, the whole divorce visitation thing.

The three sweethearts have easily taken my girl on as a parent, and just a few weeks ago she was referred to as 'second mummy', which is of course painfully cute.

You cannot hide facts from children forever. Pain now, or pain later, if there is going to be pain it cannot be avoided. It's best to simply answer the questions as they come, lies don't get you anywhere!

In my opinion, being the kid in school with the poly parents isn't so bad. I doubt it would really come up. There are so many things 'worse' that a kid can be picked out on. Then again, I've yet to have a child in school, or be that child, so this is me guessing.
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  #38  
Old 08-07-2009, 02:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Indref View Post
In my opinion, being the kid in school with the poly parents isn't so bad. I doubt it would really come up. There are so many things 'worse' that a kid can be picked out on. Then again, I've yet to have a child in school, or be that child, so this is me guessing.

I don't see why the other kids would even know. Lots of families have very close family friends who are always around.

I've been involved in a homeschool co-op with my female partner for several years. Some of the other moms have guessed, and some just think we hang out together a lot. So far, it hasn't been a problem. In ten days our children start public school, so we'll see if anything comes up!
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  #39  
Old 08-07-2009, 04:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
I don't see why the other kids would even know. Lots of families have very close family friends who are always around.

I've been involved in a homeschool co-op with my female partner for several years. Some of the other moms have guessed, and some just think we hang out together a lot. So far, it hasn't been a problem. In ten days our children start public school, so we'll see if anything comes up!
Please let me know how that pans out!
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  #40  
Old 08-07-2009, 05:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemondrop View Post
I've been involved in a homeschool co-op with my female partner for several years. Some of the other moms have guessed, and some just think we hang out together a lot. So far, it hasn't been a problem. In ten days our children start public school, so we'll see if anything comes up!
what made you decide to send them to public school?
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