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  #11  
Old 08-01-2010, 10:46 PM
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clairegoad clairegoad is offline
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Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
Good question. I have another, since it seems that some people on here are always looking.
Can you become addicted to the NRE? It seems that some people have a relationship for a few months or so and then it ends and they are on to the next exciting adventure.
Dont mean to offend anyone, just curious.
From what I've read here (generalizations) ...

Yes, some are addicted to NRE.

But a lot of poly just enjoy the NRE, and savor the relationship when the NRE dies down.
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  #12  
Old 08-02-2010, 12:00 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by racer812 View Post
Good question. I have another, since it seems that some people on here are always looking.
Can you become addicted to the NRE? It seems that some people have a relationship for a few months or so and then it ends and they are on to the next exciting adventure.
Dont mean to offend anyone, just curious.
Yes I have read...I guess it could be called serial polyamory. Jumping from relationship to relationship once the NRE dies off. Its almost unconcious as the people doing it don't notice. A few members on another forum I read, have been called out on it...

Never really goes over well ...
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  #13  
Old 08-02-2010, 02:28 AM
Ceoli Ceoli is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Yes I have read...I guess it could be called serial polyamory. Jumping from relationship to relationship once the NRE dies off. Its almost unconcious as the people doing it don't notice. A few members on another forum I read, have been called out on it...

Never really goes over well ...
The thing is, this isn't a behavior that's exclusive to polyamory. It's something that can happen with any relationship style.

I do suspect that people hear more about this than they hear about stable relationships, making it seem like this can be a more common issue than it probably is.
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  #14  
Old 08-02-2010, 03:33 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by Ceoli View Post
The thing is, this isn't a behavior that's exclusive to polyamory. It's something that can happen with any relationship style.

I do suspect that people hear more about this than they hear about stable relationships, making it seem like this can be a more common issue than it probably is.
Absolutely true ...It applies to anyone looking for that fix...
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  #15  
Old 08-02-2010, 05:58 AM
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cruftnot cruftnot is offline
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It's a bit hard for me to answer since there was always too much drama going on...

For me, the only times I have been "completely content" in any real way were when I had the right mix of partners and they were all nice to each other. By "right mix" I mean that I had someone with whom to share and express all the parts of me that were occupying me at the time.

There are times when I am not on the look out for more. Still, I end up looking most of the time, since I usually have a lot going on, and much of it I have no-one to share with. I don't think this is fundamentally poly, nor do I see it as a problem. Some people have an itch to grow and change; others don't.
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  #16  
Old 08-02-2010, 07:26 AM
sunflower sunflower is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Yes I have read...I guess it could be called serial polyamory. Jumping from relationship to relationship once the NRE dies off. Its almost unconcious as the people doing it don't notice. A few members on another forum I read, have been called out on it....
Isn't this just what happens with most relationships? You get to know someone, you have fun, but it fizzles out, or doesn't really work, and you move on? I don't think that's "addication to NRE", it's just dating.
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  #17  
Old 08-02-2010, 07:37 AM
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Wow, i've been really busy today so was blown away with all the discussion this attracted. It is reassuring that most of you do seem able to be satisfied. So hopefully once Z finds what he's looking for in terms of "friends" he too will feel content. Right now he is looking in some wrong places and I find myself getting hurt along with him. We are starting to look at some poly groups so hopefully this will turn things around.


JKelly"I'm not sure how to answer this question. If I somehow knew right now that I would never fall in love with anyone new for the rest of my life, I'd be sad about that. It'd imply that I was going to spend the rest of my life meeting people who I don't find loveable! "

This brought up some sadness for me because this is exactly the way I used to feel when I was in a bad marriage. Now I have a great relationship I just don't feel this anymore so while my brain knows that others can still feel like this in good relationships my heart still cries (sometimes).
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  #18  
Old 08-03-2010, 01:53 AM
rubyfish rubyfish is offline
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I can say this in all honesty, for me, once I came to terms with being poly, it has been as easy as breathing. For me, there are no new, additional downsides. Time management is my life struggle, as I work multiple jobs and will going back to school full time and working in the fall.

I feel completely content in my current situation (one husband, one serious boyfriend), but I'd also be willing to change. Here's the best analogy I can come up with. Imagine you had a job that you liked that paid you well for your work. Everything is pretty darn good. You could say that you were completely content with your job and could be happy with it for the rest of your working years. However, if someone offered you a better job, that paid better or was more interesting, you might take it, and find yourself in a new situation, where you could be complete content. I don't mean to say I'd dump everyone and move on, but rather that if more good could be had by adding someone else, it would be cool. I hope that made sense.
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  #19  
Old 08-03-2010, 03:47 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
I can't speak for a two sided poly side relationship but I can say with authority that mono / poly relationships are way more work than a mono /mono relationship. Way more !
That's interesting and I guess it depends on where you are in your life at the time. My 12 year monogamous relationship was much harder than my current poly relationships but that's just because I had a lot of emotional work to do back then and also I had no relationship skills yet and I had to learn all of that. Now that I'm older (and wiser) relationships are just easier!! Since I'm poly now, it seems that poly relationships are easier to me.
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  #20  
Old 08-03-2010, 04:00 AM
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Originally Posted by sage View Post
My question is are you ever completely content with what you have or are you always on the look out for more? Sage
I'm always on the look out for more relationships because I'm an extrovert and I have a practically unquenchable thirst for acquaintances and friends. Since these acquaintances and friends have their own busy lives and experience life changes, they do not always remain permanently available. So- I am always open to meeting people and seeing where things go! I have been like this for as long as I can remember, starting in elementary school and this interest in pursuing and maintaing relationships is something that gives me great pleasure! I can't imagine that this will ever change.
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