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Old 08-01-2010, 05:00 PM
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myelsewhere myelsewhere is offline
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Hi, so... hi.

I'll just jump right in without knowing where I'm headed... maybe I should focus on keeping this an introduction and not the place to explain everything.

My DH & I are very new to the poly lifestyle. We have a V, where I am seeing another woman. He is not sure about how his feelings on how things are progressing, and I am not sure how to help him through it. So I hope to find some good information here. Also, my GF is a lesbian and this is her first time in a poly relationship, so I am hoping to find some helpful info to share with her because I know this is new territory, so to speak, for all of us.

Anyway, the rest of the story... I'm currently a (non-traditional) student at a school in a very rural/conservative part of the Midwest, my DH & I have a 3-year-old son, he (DH, not son) is working on his Master's, and when we are done with school we are ready to move back to civilization!

One of the hardest things about identifying as poly when we are here is the lack of supportive social networks. I mean, no one has had a problem with my relationship w/my GF, but DH runs in to the typical problem of women who are willing to be with him if he's cheating but not if he's in an open relationship. Grrrr... so, it would be nice to find some local/nearby poly social groups for like-minded conversations.

I guess that's enough of an introduction... looking forward to meeting you all!
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Old 08-01-2010, 06:13 PM
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Old 08-01-2010, 06:57 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Welcome aboard.

What possessed you to move into the backwaters? I was warned prior to moving to here that there were a few islands of civilization in the Sea of Kansas--and is that ever true. I moved first to Lawrence (wonderful place) and leaving the city limits even the few miles to Eudora was like traveling to a third world country. I've worked routes through many parts of Kansas and can't imagine living off one of the islands of civilization.
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Old 08-01-2010, 09:51 PM
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Thanks for the welcomes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
What possessed you to move into the backwaters?
Ohhh... it's a long story. We were living on the East Coast, major metropolitan area. DH got deployed, I had just had our son; I decided to move back here to live with my family while he was gone (boy, was THAT ever an idea I'd not recommend for the faint of heart). I decided to make a major career change, and go back to school here, in a program that is hard to find at many other schools. So, when DH got back we decided to stay here while I finished. We can afford to both go to school & not work, and there are some other benefits as well... it's just that none of them involve our social life, especially given our recent choices.

Where did you move here from, if you don't mind me asking?
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Old 08-01-2010, 11:24 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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HI and welcome.

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Old 08-02-2010, 02:02 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
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Where did you move here from, if you don't mind me asking?
I moved to Kansas from Iowa. I thought small town Iowa was backwards--which it is--though small town Kansas has given me a whole new respect for Iowa.

I imagine the shift from the populous coast to small town Kansas is more of a mind bender.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 08-03-2010, 09:57 PM
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myelsewhere myelsewhere is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnalTone View Post
I moved to Kansas from Iowa. I thought small town Iowa was backwards--which it is--though small town Kansas has given me a whole new respect for Iowa.

I imagine the shift from the populous coast to small town Kansas is more of a mind bender.
I have family in rural Iowa & a BFF in Des Moines. I think Iowa has a lot to beat out Kansas, they're surprisingly liberal (relatively speaking). And then there's the Dutch bakery in Pella... *drool* /tangent

The shift has been more mind-bending for DH than for me. I grew up in BFE Kansas, so as much as I hate it, I'm used to it. He grew up 5 minutes outside of D.C., so this is a whole other world to him. I'm fortunate to have someone who is so understanding of us living/having lived here for a few years to do what I need to do, school-wise.

So, are there any good poly groups in Lawrence or KC?
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Old 08-05-2010, 10:51 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myelsewhere View Post
And then there's the Dutch bakery in Pella... *drool* /tangent
Jaarsma Bakery. There's a store in my hometown, too, which is just down the road from Pella. You can order some goodies from the website! I usually pick up some stuff when I visit my daughter and bring it home for my wife.

Quote:
So, are there any good poly groups in Lawrence or KC?
Not that I've managed to find. There was a meetup group here in KC that went on hiatus right before I found it--and is apparently still on hiatus now over a year later. I know poly folk both here and in Lawrence, just don't know of any groups.
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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Old 08-06-2010, 12:17 AM
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Welcome!
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Old 08-06-2010, 08:16 PM
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sdguitarguy sdguitarguy is offline
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Quote:
problem of women who are willing to be with him if he's cheating but not if he's in an open relationship.
Probably need to move this to a thread but I thought it was interesting because I've had the same experience of meeting women who would be willing to "cheat" with me on my partner but weren't willing if it's an open relationship, that is, if I told my partner. Go figure!?

I made the mistake once of telling someone that my partner didn't know (when in fact she did, she actually suggested it as an experiment to see what would happen). The sex was great but the rest of the fallout was, er, let's say, less than optimal.
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