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  #11  
Old 07-24-2010, 11:39 PM
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Mohegan Mohegan is offline
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Everyone has pretty much covered my view on things. Karma and read over eachothers shoulder quite a bit. We almost always offer the other to read a message before sent. There are some things I don't show him, if asked not to as long as it doesn't directly effect any of us. I can ask to read anything he is reading or writing to his g/f and he has the same privilage. It's just how we work.
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  #12  
Old 07-27-2010, 08:11 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I don't like secrets. I also don't need to feel the need to kiss & tell.

I'm very open with my close friends. I tell them what's going on in my life. I don't tell them about what's going on in my husband's life unless it affects me and I need support.

I don't understand why you'd want to keep it from your wife when you talk to her boyfriend. Your relationship with her should be comfortable enough that it's not a big deal to mention it. I worry that if you can't communicate that much, you'll have trouble when something big comes up.
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  #13  
Old 07-27-2010, 08:40 PM
DazednConfused DazednConfused is offline
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Well, making baby steps. Been another rough few days. I made her aware that he and I have spoken on a few occassions, the general topics, but not necessarily a verbatum transcript. Seems to be the right path. i'm still not happy about my wife having a boyfriend, but I'm trying really hard to deal.
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  #14  
Old 07-28-2010, 12:37 AM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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It sounds as though you are doing an admirable job .

Breathes will read me something he's written, or ask me to read it for spelling/grammar, or I'll ask him to proof something for ideas and content.

Most of the time when he's been with someone I'll ask for generalities like did he have a good time, what did they do, if they had sex & were condoms used (if he doesn't offer up the info on his own, which he usually does). I let him get his 15 minutes of gush time after he gets home to get it out of his system then we have our reconnection time where we talk or snuggle or watch a movie or something.
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  #15  
Old 07-28-2010, 01:14 AM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
It's different all together. In monogamy one doesn't see this kind of thing... I wouldn't go and tell my best friend what is going on in my relationship because it isn't their business. Poly is different, info should be passed as much as possible, because you never know when you will need to talk about something.
I think I've been doing poly without the sex

That's the kind of friendships I form. Deep intimate bonds... where I share a lot about my relationship and my life.

Huh. Something to think about.
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  #16  
Old 07-28-2010, 04:23 AM
FireChild FireChild is offline
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:hugs: You're a good man and a good husband for working so hard to make this work on your end.
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  #17  
Old 07-28-2010, 04:09 PM
DazednConfused DazednConfused is offline
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I sincerely cant't thank you all enough for the reassurance, Im trying so hard to do right by everyone; and it's such a new realm for me, I have very little of a skill-set. I'm trying my best and the reassurance you folks provide is invaluable.

@firechild thank you, but in repsect for clarity for any future advice you may impart on me, we're a lesbian couple, she's picked up a BF..

There so must be a better way to articulate that, it just alludes me, my bad if I've offended..
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  #18  
Old 07-28-2010, 08:45 PM
FireChild FireChild is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DazednConfused View Post
I sincerely cant't thank you all enough for the reassurance, Im trying so hard to do right by everyone; and it's such a new realm for me, I have very little of a skill-set. I'm trying my best and the reassurance you folks provide is invaluable.

@firechild thank you, but in repsect for clarity for any future advice you may impart on me, we're a lesbian couple, she's picked up a BF..

There so must be a better way to articulate that, it just alludes me, my bad if I've offended..
No you're fine! And fuck I just did it in another thread too. Crap I'm sorry! *off to fix and get a crowbar to get her foot out of her mouth*
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