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Old 07-27-2010, 03:12 PM
kamala kamala is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Deepest Darkest
Posts: 51
Talking Everything is fine! (but...)

I read in another thread that people tend to disappear from forums because they decided this wasn’t for them or because things were going so well. I’m in the latter group, thankfully, although the current state of affairs is more like polyamory in principle but in practice, there are only us two…

This has been to date the most successful relationship of my life. I love him, and love myself when I am with him, and feel deeply that I am ready to accompany him in this life, wherever the journey takes both of us…

Some history… barely two months ago my current partner’s long term girlfriend decided she was not prepared to “share” him, we tried, it didn’t work. She decided that what she really wanted was monogamy, marriage, children etc., he decided that what he wanted was a little more “open”. I decided that I wanted to join him, and although we are not exclusive, for various reasons it’s only us two right now.

An old friend of his is coming to town soon and wants to do a week long camping trip thing. He slept with this woman in the past, once, but said that he almost certainly wasn’t interested in pursuing something with her now. I was invited but can’t make it because of work. So, they and a few other friends will go without me.

What I want to say is “It makes me happy when you’re happy – I want you to do what feels right and meaningful to you” etc etc. even if it’s just an opportunistic shag with some girl who (I’m told) will likely come on to him really strongly during this little trip.

I’m realizing that I am more inclined towards the “polyfidelity” end of the spectrum, and find the prospect of him sleeping around casually more scary and difficult than him having a long term loving relationship with someone I can know too.

I am really keen to use this opportunity to strengthen our bond, and want to do things right. I am quite sure that nothing of significance will happen – even if they do end up having sex and a great time – she’ll go home and I don’t think much more will come of it. But, then again, I’m pretty sure that’s how his (now ex) girlfriend felt when they stumbled upon me, too :/

Any advice for handling this first real-ish challenge… if I can call it that?
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