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Old 07-25-2010, 05:39 PM
bluestone bluestone is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Default How to turn a polite V into a triad

We (me and him) have always wanted everyone to have the most they can in this situation.

She has been initially positive then withdrew. Since then me and him have held onto hope she will come back.

A while ago things started getting better, I would find myself laying one side of him while she lay the other, these nights led to closer things and all seemed well. Bad feelings forgotten and something for everyone. Impossible was not a thing. Now she has backed off again and I almost wish things had stayed lets not talk about it polite, tell everyone what they need to hear.

Uh I spose not, change is usually for the best. But I am a bit upside down, I feel such a rift between me and her and he is in the middle. I now think about them together at the weekend while I am working and think about them going to bed together while I am home alone.

I fear the divide will only get more. I have tried to open things up, she is a quiet one, we dont know quite what goes on in there. She has put a few feelings in righting:scared mostly.
Of what? He has said he is not monogamous, does not wish to live how he is not and will not try to change. If she is afraid to loose him she would put some effort in. So maybe its me she is afraid of, she is afraid to get closer to me, she has no other friends but is close to her family. Maybe she is just afraid of the unknown.

I have said I will be waiting for her, as I have been all along. I am still waiting. What is my next move? I dont think I can push her for an answer, I think she would back away. I dont feel we can go back to polite and hang out, do friend things and slowly get closer as before cus I have initiated a stand off, dont come back till you are willing to work at this, or something, a can we talk about how we might move forward. Does she even know thats an option? I have not seen her as much, we havent hung out exempt when I have been seeing him. How do I proceed?
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