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  #21  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:06 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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So far, results are :

People doing as they please : 20

Theories holding water : 0


I love it.
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  #22  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:12 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by idealist View Post
I find it interesting that it is often the man who drags the woman into the lifestyle. The woman might be rather reluctant at first, but once exposed to loving intimacy and perhaps sexual variety in safe, caring groups, they often become the strongest supporters of the lifestyle. Then, lo and behold.....we find out that it is often the man who has to potential to become more possessive and jealous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by marksbabygirl View Post
That's a fairly sweeping generalization.

I dragged him into this lifestyle.... and now he's happy here

It is a sweeping generalization, but I think that it does have at least some truth to it.

If I had a nickel every time I heard of some guy dragging his girlfriend to poly and the girl ending up much more into it than the guy was, I'd be typing this message from my Alienware laptop..in Amsterdam..in a coffeeshop..that I bought...with my "walking around" money.
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  #23  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:17 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Man posting most of the time here. Although, my wife does post in my place from time to time.
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  #24  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:25 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DharmaBum23 View Post
It is a sweeping generalization, but I think that it does have at least some truth to it.

If I had a nickel every time I heard of some guy dragging his girlfriend to poly and the girl ending up much more into it than the guy was, I'd be typing this message from my Alienware laptop..in Amsterdam..in a coffeeshop..that I bought...with my "walking around" money.
Wow you know a lot of poly people :O

and have good taste in laptops
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  #25  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:26 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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There seems to be an awful lot of "dragging into" going on. That would seem to suggest that quite a few people who "are" poly are not really that enthusiastic about it.
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  #26  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:33 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
There seems to be an awful lot of "dragging into" going on. That would seem to suggest that quite a few people who "are" poly are not really that enthusiastic about it.
I just envisioned a bunch of poly cavemen, with big clubs...

I sure am glad beth and I walked into this together, if I tried "dragging" her into anything I believe she might go all bobbit on my ass.
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  #27  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:36 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
I just envisioned a bunch of poly cavemen, with big clubs...
That's the mental image I got too, except in mine, the cavemen were wearing corsets, platform shoes, and lipstick... "dragging"
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  #28  
Old 07-22-2010, 05:51 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Wow you know a lot of poly people :O

and have good taste in laptops

Well, you don't spend four(I think it's been four) years looking for an OSO going to meetups, conferences, workshops, munches, etc. without meeting a lot of poly people.

And I also have very good taste in coffeeshops. In my fantasy the coffeeshop I was sitting in with my Alienware laptop is called "Barney's". Some of the best hash in the 'Dam. *sigh* I miss the 'Dam.


Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
There seems to be an awful lot of "dragging into" going on. That would seem to suggest that quite a few people who "are" poly are not really that enthusiastic about it.
I can't speak for anyone else, but you hit the nail on the head for me. At the best of times I think of being poly as the "Peace Corps" of relationship structures("The Toughest Relationship Type You'll Ever Love").
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  #29  
Old 07-22-2010, 06:11 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DharmaBum23 View Post
I can't speak for anyone else, but you hit the nail on the head for me. At the best of times I think of being poly as the "Peace Corps" of relationship structures("The Toughest Relationship Type You'll Ever Love").
I always thought it was about loving PEOPLE, not loving "types of relationships"... maybe that's what is lost on the people doing the "dragging" and being "dragged into".
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  #30  
Old 07-22-2010, 06:28 PM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Would be interesting to go on a site like okc and do a survey. That might give you a decent snapshot...hmmmm Too bad no one has time for that kind of thing
Actually, someone did do a survey of polymatchmaker, and discovered that there was about twice as many men as women (mentioned here).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
It is unfortunate. I wish more people, when things were going ok to well, would stick around. I wonder if they realize how much that would help people
Well, sure. But many people for whom things are going well are out modelling what healthy poly- relationships are like for their friends and community. That may well be more important than just asserting on a forum to someone struggling that things actually can go well, because it is more tangible. Which isn't to say that posting on forums isn't helpful, of course, but to say that those people who don't stick around but are doing things well may still be helping people.
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