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  #11  
Old 07-22-2010, 06:41 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I have noticed an even split between men and women. Maybe it's a west coast thing? Still, men find it hard to find female mates.

I also have noticed that the posters that stay are mostly women, but that there have been an even number of men and women over the last year and a half that I have been on here.

What I have noticed more is couples where the woman is bi and takes on a female lover, couples that one finds someone on the internet (more often than not and old fling) and it starts with that, and that we mostly talk about hard stuff rather than the good stuff. People tend to disappear when things get too rough or they are doing well.
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  #12  
Old 07-22-2010, 02:29 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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  #13  
Old 07-22-2010, 02:36 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I have noticed an even split between men and women. Maybe it's a west coast thing? Still, men find it hard to find female mates.
Would be interesting to go on a site like okc and do a survey. That might give you a decent snapshot...hmmmm Too bad no one has time for that kind of thing

Quote:
What I have noticed more is couples where the woman is bi and takes on a female lover, couples that one finds someone on the internet (more often than not and old fling) and it starts with that, and that we mostly talk about hard stuff rather than the good stuff. People tend to disappear when things get too rough or they are doing well.
It is unfortunate. I wish more people, when things were going ok to well, would stick around. I wonder if they realize how much that would help people
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  #14  
Old 07-22-2010, 03:03 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Things are going well for me, but I'm not sure I count because my husband and I are not involved with other people yet. I had the one brief involvement last year which didn't go anywhere, and ever since then it's been business-as-usual. Boring and predictable, but in a good way.
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  #15  
Old 07-22-2010, 03:59 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I have noticed an even split between men and women. Maybe it's a west coast thing? Still, men find it hard to find female mates.
I have a hypothesis in regards to the numbers of men and women and the perception of the numbers of men and women.

Now I'd have to do a lot more research to validate it(but it is able to be validated or disproven) and it isn't gospel truth.

Here are my given assumptions.

You have a limited poly population that consists of women and men.

There are more bisexual women in the poly population than bisexual men.

The actual raw numbers of women that are poly are either slightly higher or equal to the number of men that are poly.

An individual can only date a finite number of people at once.

Now, with that said, here is my hypothesis.

When people become poly some of the women are removed from the dating pool because of the "One Penis Policy". Those women that are subject to the OPP, by definition, will date women and not men. Even if this is not true a majority of the time it is true often enough that it does make an impact because it not only erases all of the potential bandwith that could be used by dating a man on the part of the person who is subject to the OPP, but if the woman dates a woman who is not subject a OPP it reduces the bandwith of the non-OPP woman as well.

The logical way for this issue to be resolved is for guys to date other guys(who, because a lot of women are dating other women, have lots of spare bandwith to date). The thing is, because there are significantly more bisexual women in the poly scene than bisexual men, that creates the imbalance.

So, even if there are as many women as there are men in the poly scene, because of the OPP and greater number of bisexual women than bisexual men, that makes it significantly more difficult than it otherwise would be to find female people to date.
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  #16  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Or its as simple as this is how it works in real life. Men find it hard to get mates...I fail to see how this is any different.

Quote:
The logical way for this issue to be resolved is for guys to date other guys
Bi-sexuality by exclusion...wow...that just sounds scary to me.
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  #17  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:08 PM
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clairegoad clairegoad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Would be interesting to go on a site like okc and do a survey. That might give you a decent snapshot...hmmmm Too bad no one has time for that kind of thing



It is unfortunate. I wish more people, when things were going ok to well, would stick around. I wonder if they realize how much that would help people
See, I think one factor in this is the amount of free time...

I've gotten the impression that polys are busy. So they're here to vent, then hang around at home when things are going well.

claire
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  #18  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:22 PM
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I find it interesting that it is often the man who drags the woman into the lifestyle. The woman might be rather reluctant at first, but once exposed to loving intimacy and perhaps sexual variety in safe, caring groups, they often become the strongest supporters of the lifestyle. Then, lo and behold.....we find out that it is often the man who has to potential to become more possessive and jealous.
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  #19  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:47 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by idealist View Post
I find it interesting that it is often the man who drags the woman into the lifestyle. The woman might be rather reluctant at first, but once exposed to loving intimacy and perhaps sexual variety in safe, caring groups, they often become the strongest supporters of the lifestyle. Then, lo and behold.....we find out that it is often the man who has to potential to become more possessive and jealous.
That's a fairly sweeping generalization.

I dragged him into this lifestyle.... and now he's happy here
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  #20  
Old 07-22-2010, 04:48 PM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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female-poly
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Split up the middle on the count!
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