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  #11  
Old 07-20-2010, 03:33 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Awww... I wonder who this is you want to be romantic with, but can't have sex with? Sexual relations would seem to include some kind of stimulation of the genitals, but as for romance:

Your mileage may vary, but for me, camping/hiking/swimming together can be very romantic. City walking, coffeehouses, museums. Cooking together is delightful if you both like to, or going out to eat if you don't.

If you don't like to write, reading out loud from books is fun. Can you watch sexy movies together, or even watch internet porn?
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  #12  
Old 07-20-2010, 07:27 PM
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There is nothing more romantic and bonding to me (other than things sexual) than holding hands. I mean really feeling someones hand. experiencing it and loving it as if it is their whole self. The hands are so much the most used part of the body I think. I love treating them tenderly and with love.
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  #13  
Old 07-20-2010, 07:44 PM
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Sending songs back and forth that make you think of each other. I love the feelings that are expressed through music.

-Derby
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  #14  
Old 07-20-2010, 08:20 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
Sending songs back and forth that make you think of each other. I love the feelings that are expressed through music.

-Derby
I agree this is a big one, helps keep and maintain the connection and sometimes even grows it a bit
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  #15  
Old 07-20-2010, 11:47 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Yes, kissing is still an option .

As for the no sexual relations part....Breathes has a very low libido & Possibility has ED so I'm just trying to find things to do so I can get my fix (without going the way of the buzzzzzzzzzzzzz) while still helping them feel good as well. Sex isn't totally out of the question, it's just very infrequent (twice a month if I'm really, REALLY lucky, & yes I get cranky about it, lol).

Those are all awesome suggestions too , thanx.
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  #16  
Old 07-21-2010, 05:06 AM
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Massages are always good. And any shared experience helps people bond, but more intense experiences are always better. You could set out to conquer a fear together, achieve a goal together, bungee jump, volunteer, whatever stirs up good emotions in both of you.
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  #17  
Old 07-22-2010, 06:54 AM
FormerUnicorn FormerUnicorn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Yes, kissing is still an option .

As for the no sexual relations part....Breathes has a very low libido & Possibility has ED so I'm just trying to find things to do so I can get my fix (without going the way of the buzzzzzzzzzzzzz) while still helping them feel good as well. Sex isn't totally out of the question, it's just very infrequent (twice a month if I'm really, REALLY lucky, & yes I get cranky about it, lol).
Gosh, I've been in both of those situations. I was a really cranky girl myself, until I found a routine that worked for the relationships I was in. It sounds like you really don't need advice on how to feel intimate with these people, it really does sound like you're asking about the sexy side of things. I'm writing under that assumption here.

My biggest mistake was to try to ignore the fact that I was very desirous of sex. I went into major denial about it. I'm still undoing the damage this caused. When I realized that I was entitled to feel good sexually whether or not I got to have sex with my partner, things got a lot better. Once I cultivated the habit of feeling great about sex again, things were a LOT easier with my partners even with their (our) problems.

For ED the best gift I was able to give was to make it clear that my partner was still excellent at satisfying me, and that his performance problems were completely irrelevant to his ability to please me. Cultivating other sexual activities besides penile penetration that left me writhing with pleasure was a whole new realm of fun as we got to try all sorts of new things out. I got the satisfaction of being... satisfied, and he got the satisfaction of having satisfied me, which he said made him feel awesome.

For low libido, just letting my partner know that I was going to go have a fun time in the bedroom while he was doing whatever solitary activity he was doing and then visiting him periodically during my session in order to steal passionate kisses while I smelled of sexy woman was enough to pique his interest over time. Because the issue of my wanting to feel good wasn't swept under the rug, and I was very intent on making myself fulfilled, but I wasn't pressuring him for anything either, it opened the door for him to check in on me, and then play a little, and then join me. Eventually sexy kisses alone could lead to fun, just like they ought to.

I hope things pick up for you.
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  #18  
Old 07-22-2010, 09:04 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Yes, kissing is still an option .

As for the no sexual relations part....Breathes has a very low libido & Possibility has ED so I'm just trying to find things to do so I can get my fix (without going the way of the buzzzzzzzzzzzzz) while still helping them feel good as well. Sex isn't totally out of the question, it's just very infrequent (twice a month if I'm really, REALLY lucky, & yes I get cranky about it, lol).

Those are all awesome suggestions too , thanx.
I didn't read most of the other posts.

I go through this. Because of dh's health - sex doesn't happen very often. So we have re-worked our idea of what "sex" is.

What we do:

-kissing
-holding hands
-body rubs (any part of the body)
-me sittting on the floor between his legs while he plays with or brushes my hair
-snuggles on the couch
-snuggle in bed and watch a movie
-flirting
-playful touching without the expectation of anything further
-showers together
-walks together (when he's up for it)
-anytime I walk past him - I touch him. Reconnect that way.

Last night, I had him lay down on the bed, and I used a couple of different flavoured edibles. I drew pictures and words on him and then licked and sucked them off. It was incredibly sensual AND sexual - but there was never any pressure on him to "perform" He simply lay there and enjoyed the sensations. He then did the same for me.

When we do have actual intercourse -there's no expectations of either of us cumming. But its nice.

He's always up for some kissing and fondling of my body while I use my toys and fingers on myself. Guaranteed good times

Its not a fun situation to be in - especially if one has a higher libido than the other...

Hope that helps

Jane
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