Originally Posted by rpcrazy
here's how I see it.
Look(again) inside yourself and if this is what you want. If it is, have (more) talks with your husband about the polyamory idea, why're your comfortable with, why he feels the way he feels about it. Tell your husband who you're hanging out with out. Assure him that you want to focus on you and him(and do it). Continue seeing this guy you are seeing but DON'T DO ANYTHING SEXUAL, and let the NRE face wear off(at least a little bit). Develop your interpersonal relationship in it's purest form. Sex...is distracting. Take this from a newly realized sex addict.
This is kind of exactly what I'm doing. I really feel like the next few months are going to bring a lot of changes in the dynamic of our relationship anyway and when I brought up the idea of an open relationship - I did so with assurances that nothing would happen until he got back. I just don't think it's right to introduce someone else into our relationship when we're going off in separate directions and our relationship might not be as strong as it usually is (altho right now we're solid as a damn rock - which is why I thought I'd bring up the topic).
And I know myself well enough to know that in order for this to happen, me and my friend can't do anything sexual - at all - because it's a super slippery slope and I won't abuse my husband's trust.
But thank you for the advice - and good luck with the addiction thing. My brother is struggling with that right now and I know it's such a struggle. ::hugs:: for you