A Future with Two Women I Love?
I understand that there are many seemingly natural emotional tendencies that do not lend themselves towards polyamory such as jealousy and lack of confidence among others. However, my current partner and I are very open minded and embrace the logic behind polyamory, but I personally struggle with the thought of sharing her. She seems a bit more emotionally mature in this regards, though I struggle in my own mind with the thought of ever bringing her and this other woman together. This other woman is actually an ex-girlfriend whom since meeting my current partner I have been able to grow an impressive love and respect for. My current partner fulfills me in more ways than I ever dreamed, and surprisingly so after practically giving up. It is now obvious to me that my ex is important to me in so many ways complimentary to what I get from my current relationship. That may have sounded contradictory - what I mean is that my current partner fulfills me but now in my fulfillment I've found that my ex awakens a part of me that isn't awake without her around and I believe it is a very important in balancing me out (I'm naturally overly analytical but she awakens an emotional honesty and child-like curiosity).
My intentions are not purely selfish (please don't argue this point here). Both women love me, tho my ex is struggling with feelings for her current partner (also don't need to address this right now - I don't think it will last - it won't fulfill her). But besides wanting to share a life with both of them, I am incredibly anxious and excited to imagine what they could offer to each other.
I'm currently finishing up a degree while living on campus at school, but will be done in less than two months and I feel that time is running out. They have been introduced and nothing noteworthy has occurred - they were both surprisingly mature during the encounter(s). I think a lot of the anxiety and fear of things not working out are in my head, but I also believe that the likelihood of things working out to the extent that I want them to is unlikely.
Please, I do not want to marry anyone, but I love two women intensely and complimentarily and feel that it is important to have them both in my life and am excited when I imagine what the three of us could do together. How can I re-introduce them to each other, warm them up to the idea (if necessary), or introduce them into situations together whereby they could grow to like each other and consider seriously these thoughts that I've presented to you? I've brought up these feelings with both of them in different not-so-subtle ways and have seen mostly confusion on their faces and I believe some nervousness and fear (of losing me in the case of my current partner). Any and all advice is appreciated. Thank you!