Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 07-15-2010, 05:53 AM
Coco Coco is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 7
Default Overwhelming Sense of Loyalty to Partner preventing me from branching out!

Hello everyone,

I'm finding that I have a weird issue and I am trying to work through it, but could certainly use advice. I think I have been socially programmed to be a very 'good girl' in the socially mainstream sense (loyal, honest, loving, monogamous....). I have opened myself up to polyamory because two lovers (a current and a past lover) are polyamorous. This has been a great growth experience for me, and I have quite successfully come to terms with my men having other lovers.

The funny trouble I'm having is, although I find myself attracted to other men and happy to engage with these men up to a point, as I start to get romantically involved with them, this crazy tape starts playing in my head that automatically compares them to my other lover and my 'good girl' loyalty kicks in and I find myself not that interested anymore (even though my lover is very supportive of me having other lovers). The weird thing is, I don't actually think this means I am innately monogamous. I think it is my social programming of what a good woman is... but it is so strong that it actually kills my desire... I don't want this to ruin my potential to also enjoy other relationships as my lover does!

If anyone has experienced this and has successfully overcome it so that they can sincerely enjoy being with multiple partners, I would love your advice!

Reply With Quote

guilt, loyalty, mono, mono/poly, monogamous

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:53 AM.