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Old 03-25-2009, 02:27 PM
mosaicbtrfly mosaicbtrfly is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 5
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After a week of sharing my husband, I freaked. I had a meltdown. I am not proud of the way I handled it - some immature coping tools took over because I was struggling with expressing myself. I was trying to do the best I could. Thankfully, hubby understood clearly what was going on. He made the choice to slow things down significantly with his girlfriend. She was very supportive and understanding. His main focus now is my growth.

I am going through a huge change in my own psyche unrelated to poly. I have had terrible health for about fifteen years now. Chronic pain, fatigue, trouble thinking, sleeping, eating, rashes - the list goes on I am afraid. Well, I have finally figured out that I have multiple food allergies. After changing my diet significantly, I am becoming this new person (all over the last two months). I feel good in my body. My body is working. My renewed health has led to getting off of medications. This all has led to me feeling excitement and hope for the first time in many, many years. I had given up on a lot of things - my career, sexual health, and an active lifestyle to name a few.

So, how is this related? Well, I think I am a little scared of the changes in my own psyche. Excited yes, but scared too. So at this time when I am needing emotional support from hubby, he meets a wonderful other person. So, how does one negotiating sharing so that everyone has their needs met?

In their week of carte blanche, they talked continually. They work together so they see each other many times during the day. They also keep instant messenger open and chat continually throughout the day. When he came home, they texted all evening and into the night after I went to bed. He was very reassuring to me that I am loved and safe, but followed that up with "let me tell what she said" or "what we are talking about", etc. I felt like I had lost him.

How in the world do you work out the logistics of letting them enjoy this experience and all of the excitement, being a part of it without being swallowed by it, and trying to get what I need while all of this goes on? It seems like such a roadblock to what, in theory, is such a great thing.

Your thoughts, words of encouragement, and support are terribly appreciated.

Mosaicbtrfly
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Tags
communication, fear, meltdown, sharing, vees

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