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Old 07-13-2010, 04:00 AM
AckTivity AckTivity is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 3
Default Slightly Different?

I hope it's ok to just dive in and post. Ok, so I'm not even sure if we could really be considered a poly family, but I think that even if not I could learn from other poly families.

Here's our setup: There are three adults. My girlfriend (S) is married to her husband (A). However, my girlfriend and her husband have not been intimate for about 10 years (separate rooms even). Before I came along they both had separate relationships from each other, but nothing serious. S likes girls A likes girls and boys. After I met my S, we became intimate and consider ourselves monogamous. A still has his "flings" but nobody serious and, for now at least, that's the way he wants it. I am about to move in with them. S and I want to continue to be monogamous. She loves her husband and has no plans to divorce him (nor am I asking her to). He is comfortable with the relationship most of the time, but does worry that she'll leave him now that she has me (which is definitely not going to happen). We will all be living together and taking care of each other.

Now, this is clearly not a "traditional" family, but I'm not really sure that it would be considered poly either. Honestly I am not seeking a label but advice.

I want to know how to live with A. Any advice for a newcomer into a family dynamic? I know a lot of it will just simply be trial and error and whatever works for us three. But I want to make it as smooth as possible for A as well. I do care about his feelings as much as S's and mine.

So, any advice besides the obvious COMMUNICATION? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
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