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Old 07-05-2010, 03:40 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 96
Default I can't believe this happened..

Well, I went to a festival in upstate New York where there was a woman that I had been talking to in advance.

She had shown interest in me in the past two weeks since we had met online but I was uncertain and didn't make any promises as we hadn't met yet.

I spent time with her the first day I arrived and realized very quickly that dating her was a terrible idea. The reason being is that she is, by her own admission, very high maintenance(like middle of the night phone calls for obscure emotional reasons on a routine basis) and she lives over 10 hours away. So, I gently(but directly) told her this and she seemed to accept it.

Then she started insinuating that she wanted to have sex with me. As a core part of my relationship agreement is that we have to be seeing someone for three months before sex happened I, at first, steered the conversation away from that. Then she became more blatant about her requests for sex. I became absolutely crystal clear about the fact that I did not want to have sex with her at that point or any other point and explained why. She was irritated and petulant but she accepted it at first.

The evening progressed and she asked me to walk her to her tent. I had done a very intense stage performance about an hour or so before and, to be blunt, was extremely out of it(I am still a little hoarse and this happened two days ago).

Once we got to her tent she invited me in for a moment and I said that I didn't think that was a good idea. She reassured me that it was a good idea and gently pulled me into the tent against my protest. Then after asking me to take my shoes off she lunged at me. I said again and again that I didn't want to be intimate with her and she tried to pull me down on top of her.

After pushing her off of me more than once she laid down limp on the floor of the tent and I left.

I know that it was really stupid to go into her tent, but in my own defense I told her vaguely on some occasions and in great detail on one occasion(not 5 hours beforehand) that I did not want to have sex with her and would not want to have sex with her at any point in the future.

I ended up leaving the festival early because I realized that at this point she wasn't respecting my statement that I wasn't going to have sex with her and that by being there I was(in her mind at least) consenting to having sex with her. I informed the organizers of what was going on and left immediately thereafter.

I feel very fragile and tired right now. I feel stupid for having gone to this event, I feel stupid for being nice to this woman in any way, and I feel triply stupid for thinking that me saying no had any weight at all and going into that damned tent. My only comfort right now is that I honored the relationship agreement with my primary.
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