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Old 07-02-2010, 10:18 PM
dragonflysky dragonflysky is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 211

Just a thought....but maybe you'd do ok as a "secondary" in a poly relationship. It would allow some level of relationship while giving you some independence and freedom.
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Old 07-03-2010, 12:09 AM
jkelly jkelly is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 168
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Originally Posted by dancingalone View Post
Stubborn,independant, accustomed to making all the decisions
I assure you that there are people out there interested in dating people with those qualities.

Originally Posted by dancingalone View Post
I'm the friend that no one hangs out with unless they need me to fix something or help them thru something.
Is this really true? If I didn't hang out and socialise with friends regularly, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have much luck meeting people to date. Maybe it's time to go looking for a different circle of friends. Are there any poly- social activities in your area? Is there someone whose opinion you respect that you could ask why your friendships tend to work out this way?

Originally Posted by dancingalone View Post
I'm just not some simpery little female that sleeps around. Unfortunately, that's all that seems to get any attention.
I assure you that many women can flirt very succesfully, and get attention from prospective partners, without simpering or being little, and that many men are interested in dating someone who has not had many partners.

Originally Posted by dancingalone View Post
I know better than to let idiots make me feel less than I am but obviously I've got to do something differently.
Do you have a clear idea of what kind of person would make a good partner for you, or how to avoid "idiots", in other words?

I think that the good news for you is that, on average, poly- men are more likely to appreciate independence in their partners.
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Old 07-03-2010, 01:24 AM
dancingalone dancingalone is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Wilds of Wyoming
Posts: 17

I keep hearing that, unfortunately, the only one I've met happens to be married to my mother. lol SOOO not apropriate. And he has qualities that I'm not looking for. And I am very much like my mother in a lot of ways. I know I need someone that is happy to help with out fighting me about control. I do have control issues, that I do work on, but I've long recognized that I'm going to have to be pretty much the one in charge. That's a need that's going to be very difficult for anyone to accomodate. Because of that I can see why the suggestion of being a secondary is a good one, but I can't imagine not being at the center of a relationship. So finding a partner than can step back and let me do my thing, and yet is also perfectly capable of stepping in to help when things go sideways... Maybe I'm expecting too much. I have this wonderful little fantasy of coming home to a happy househusband? that's got the house clean, and dinner ready and a husband that comes home and helps me support us financially, well enough that between us, we get everything taken care of, and can still go play. It's a nice thought but....I'm not sure how feasible it is. As for the few partners...I've obviously been coming across the wrong guys, because while many of them have said they like that idea...they're gone faster than the roadrunner when they realize that they really aren't getting any. But I'm a stubborn broad and I got lots of pillows, I'm not giving it up just cause someone says they like me. I'm cheap, not easy as they say, lol Am I making any sense at all? lol
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