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  #11  
Old 07-24-2009, 03:03 AM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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If you've identified as one thing and held one sort of belief or lifestyle most or the entire time they've known you, it may just be hard for them to understand and accept that your own identity has changed. It doesn't make the comments right or any less hurtful, but people have odd ways of coping. I'm a very sarcastically humored person, for instance. I might have made the same comments your friends did, but not meant them in a hurtful manner. If I'd been approached and told it was hurtful, I'd apologize and be more focused on explaining my true feelings. Have you told them their comments hurt? Open and honest communication works just as well for friendships as for love life.
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  #12  
Old 07-24-2009, 03:38 AM
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aussielover aussielover is offline
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No, I'm letting it slide for now. We'll see where the conversations go, and if they're similar then I will say something for sure.
I can understand, I know that's basically how they've known me. I guess I'm just impatiant and want everyone to share in my joy and happiness.
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  #13  
Old 07-25-2009, 04:01 AM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Well, we're all happy for you if that helps any.
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  #14  
Old 07-25-2009, 07:14 AM
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DestinyWaits DestinyWaits is offline
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in my honest opinion i believe some people make those comments because they are too shy or embarrassed to make any moves to be happy themselves and just want to try to make others believe the way they think is their honest opinion when in fact they are jealous of the fact that you are out there doing what makes you happy. oh, people of little minds!!!
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  #15  
Old 07-27-2009, 07:29 AM
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maybe your friend doesn't agree with your what you are about to embark on and is afraid and apprehensive for you?

I have a friend right now who is embarking on something that I think is just an avoidance of her really life struggle (we all have one). I have told her this, but can't help sometimes being sarcastic and a bit rude to her as I totally am afraid and apprehensive about losing her friendship because I disagree and because she is moving away.

perhaps this it similar.
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  #16  
Old 07-28-2009, 03:56 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Yeah, it is. Most folks only think of an additional lover in terms of cheating or swinging. I've had people say to me "Oh, you're swingers" when I mention we're poly. To that, I respond with "Nah, that's polyfuckery. Polyamory is about the relationships," which has seemed to work to clarify the matter enough that they cease assuming we just want to fuck around.

As for any rude comments, I just ask if they're serious about starting a fight. That seems to wake them up to the fact that they were seriously rude with the comments. It helps that they really don't want to fight with the veryvery large man (I think they're afraid I might eat them).
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  #17  
Old 07-28-2009, 03:57 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunshinegrl View Post
I dont think unless they have lived it that they can understand.
That's likely the case with a great many people.
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  #18  
Old 07-29-2009, 04:45 PM
Degenerate Degenerate is offline
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Ah being pigeon holed is a pain huh. I think lots of people think you should 'pick a team' and stick with it but (speaking as a pansexual person) it's not a very liberated view ;-) It is also not easy because most people don't get poly, so they scrabble for a model they understand. 'kinky straight couple brings in another girl' they understand. 'All three if us are in love', they do not comprehend and is more out of this world than most movies, so they probably subconsciously seek something more familiar to hang it on.

Says more about their minds than anyone else's though ;-) perverts!
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  #19  
Old 07-29-2009, 09:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Degenerate View Post
Ah being pigeon holed is a pain huh. I think lots of people think you should 'pick a team' and stick with it but (speaking as a pansexual person) it's not a very liberated view ;-) It is also not easy because most people don't get poly, so they scrabble for a model they understand. 'kinky straight couple brings in another girl' they understand. 'All three if us are in love', they do not comprehend and is more out of this world than most movies, so they probably subconsciously seek something more familiar to hang it on.

Says more about their minds than anyone else's though ;-) perverts!
lmao thanks. that made me laugh..

but it makes a lot of sense...it was more of the yes, I considered myself a lesbian but not so much now...thing that I think is bothering them... I know they mean well really, but geesh...
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  #20  
Old 07-29-2009, 09:50 PM
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The thought of three people together, each in love with the other is..., SO HOT!

<taking a cold shower>
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