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Old 06-28-2010, 06:03 AM
BLQ BLQ is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Iowa
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Default 19 year relationship changing

I am new to the world of polyamory. My long time (19 years) boyfriend has reconnected with an old girlfriend and has told me that they were separated by their parents 2 years before we started dating. You know, the young and stupid and believe what your told by your parents story. Anyway, he still loves her and is finding it difficult to deny that he may want to rekindle their romance. He still loves me and doesn't want to lose me during their getting to know one another again. I am trying to be open minded about this as he is happier now then he has been in some years. It is almost like he pushed all of the things that happened between them into a compartment in his head and is giddy that he can let them out again.

I am not concerned that he will not love me anymore and polyamory is something that he brought to my attention last year, before he reconnected with her. I am still nervous about how this will work out in the end but as they are a state away from each other for now, they are just renewing their friendship.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been through something similar and how they adjusted to adding a new person into their on going original relationship. Any guidance would be appreciated.
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Old 06-28-2010, 06:57 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Do some looking around, there are more than a dozen thread on this exact scenario it seems... most are of couples where one pf them met an old love on line,,, like facebook say...

do a search, you are not alone.
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Old 06-28-2010, 09:48 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 633
Default welcome BLQ

You have come to the right place to support you through this. It is a very supportive and intelligent forum.

There will be people who have been through what you are going through but you will find value in lots of places. Our experiences might be different but polyamory brings up a lot of the same emotions.

Like you I'm here because my partner has an emotional other (he'd like it to be more). Like you will have to, I am learning to deal with the insecurities and jealousies it brings up. I don't know when I joined but it has only been a month or two. In that time I have been able to go from wondering whether I should just cut my losses and move on, to experiencing a depth and intimacy of relationship I didn't know existed.


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Old 06-28-2010, 11:49 PM
BLQ BLQ is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3

Thank you both, I will definitely keep wondering the forums. I have already found that C is more attentive to me and really trying to make sure I know he loves me still.

It can be hard when I see him reacting the same way to her conversations as he did when we first started dating, but I have had him in my life a long time and don't want to lose his companionship.
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