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Old 06-27-2010, 08:13 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Ah, well, I've met two wives via online dating, so I guess I can say I'm all for it. I've "met" women from other parts of the country with whom I'd likely have ongoing romances were we living closer.

I met Curly via Yahoo Personals years ago, and my previous wife via a long-defunct personals site in '95 (no pictures, short ads like newspaper personals). OKC has been the best place I've found, because it's a mainstream site that has folks who haven't considered poly arrangements to do so; the dedicated poly dating sites simply lack the numbers of people to provide a variety (and far too many couples-as-a-package-deal).

As far as approaching others goes, I view all initial contact messages I send as fire-and-forget and never expect a response. Folks on a dating site aren't running businesses where some expectations of business etiquette may apply (and businesses are no longer adhering to the expectation of always replying, btw), they're simply on a site looking for a specific connection. If they're overwhelmed by responses or don't find anything compelling in a message (or profile), there's no reason to expect them to respond.

Trolls are to be expected in any online venue. It's a cost of doing business, so to speak, online. I giggle at them, sometimes evaluate their creativity, then delete and move along without another thought. Occasionally I'll toy with one, though I usually don't have the time to waste on them.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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