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Old 06-22-2010, 11:58 PM
Noname Noname is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 20
Default Another new person.

It is kinda nice that this forum has a section for new people. I know it gets old answering similar questions over and over so thanks for you time in reading and answering this. I will keep it semi brief as I know how hard it can be to read though a book on forums. I will give more details if they are needed or wanted.

I came to this site after stumbling on a Poly FAQ. Like many I think I had the wrong idea about what Poly was. Reading though the FAQ I saw several statements in there where a light came on and I said "that sounds like me" so I am here to find out more.

I am a 35 YOM and have a pretty extensive dating history. I have been in love with 2 girls in that time and both broke my heart. My last relationship, we will call her C, lasted about 5 years but I always felt like something was missing so I never felt like I loved her. I really like(d) C but I kept searching for more which lead me to cheating looking for "something". The cheating was not really a sex thing as me and the ex had amazing sex, hands down the best. One of the girls I fell in love with happened while I was with C. It was short lived and ended badly for me. C found out about this other girl and my other activities and she did not leave.

Since I was still in search mode for what was missing shortly after this other girl dumped me I was introduced to another girl B. Me and B met and I was very impressed and she had my attention. Things went well for a couple months but then I started thinking about C a lot so me and C talked. I explained to B what was going on and she backed out and me an C went to some couples counseling to try and figure out what was missing. Things were ok for a a few months but still not resolved. I really like(d) C and wanted things to work but I think most of the problems was life style. So back to B I went for about 2 months. Then it was back to C for a couple months. I went from C - B - C - B - C - and finally back to B in about a 1 year period. I have been with B as couple vs dating since Sept 09.

Things with B are great and she is amazing. I love this girl but I had a hard time giving up C. I am having some serious thoughts about C again. There are many things I miss about her that I want back, so while I could never tell C that I loved her I am pretty sure that I do. If I didnt love her why do I keep wanting to go back to her? This is not just about sex either. I am not looking to end up in a "open relationship" to go get with other girls, that is not what I want. It seems like I always have a girl or two that would have causal relationship with me anytime I want. I have one cute, young, great girl that is after me now but I have NO desire for her or anyone other then B or C.

The one big thing that I read in the Poly FAQ that hit me was how it was about relationships and love vs sex. How we are able to love more then one person at one time. I remember C saying while we were in counseling that she "never felt unloved or unwanted" even while I was cheating. I am sure that is cause I did/do want her. I do remember too that there were many times that I was seeing other girls that I felt like things between me and C were better, but not sure how to describe it.

So I came here to find out if that sounds like a Poly situation? I have seen that there are many versions and descriptions of Poly since reading more. If this is a Poly situation where does one go from here? I will post more info about the girls in another thread, or later in this one if it gets to that point.

Thank you

Last edited by Noname; 06-23-2010 at 12:02 AM.
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