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  #61  
Old 04-30-2010, 05:40 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by Petal View Post
Yes, indeed it is. An great thing about learning is that no matter what it is your learning about it's always good that you're learning. Perhaps one day you'll hear more, but for now I'm learning I'm only good at public speaking professionally versus personally. Thanks for making me feel more comfortable in doing so though.
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  #62  
Old 06-19-2010, 03:28 PM
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Years ago in another internet forum, a forum "host" would occasionally interview authors online, then, after the interview was complete, open the "topic" up to general discussion among forum participants. I wonder if this would be a good thing to try in here? Conversations with authors are another possibility, rather than interviews (I particularly like to read conversations!).

The process would obviously involve making invitations to the authors, explaining our site, etc.

What do you think?
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  #63  
Old 06-21-2010, 07:25 PM
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I'm surprised two days have passed without comment on my above question.

I have noticed that participation is somewhat down, lately, at www.polyamory.com. And most of the participants are a fairly small batch of regulars. I think we could generate more participation here if we have something like what I suggested going on here.
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  #64  
Old 06-21-2010, 07:42 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Originally Posted by River View Post
I'm surprised two days have passed without comment on my above question.

I have noticed that participation is somewhat down, lately, at www.polyamory.com. And most of the participants are a fairly small batch of regulars. I think we could generate more participation here if we have something like what I suggested going on here.
River, you yourself often go for days or even weeks at a time without visiting the forum. You obviously have things going on in your life off the internet. Why is it so surprising that other people might do the same? Just because there are no replies to one post for two days doesn't mean the forum in general is dead. Every time I log on there are new posts, and they are usually from people signing on to seek feedback about a specific issue in their lives. And even if it does get a bit slow sometimes - consider the possibility that participation might be down because it's summer. Now there's a radical thought... people doing outdoor stuff having fun with their partners and families instead of sitting at their computers discussing books about polyamory...

Of course, this is just my theory. I could be wrong. After all, there is a first time for everything

Last edited by NeonKaos; 06-21-2010 at 07:55 PM.
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  #65  
Old 06-21-2010, 07:42 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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maybe need to throw it in suggestions. This is an oldish thread that maybe isn't checked often?...

I think its an interesting idea. Could be setup easily enough using a webchat room program like jabber, which also wouldn't be too much of a burden to the server
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  #66  
Old 06-25-2010, 05:49 AM
solarwindsfly solarwindsfly is offline
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Open Marriage by Nena O'Neal and George O'Neal was wonderful. Its older but I was really helped understanding Poly relationships and myself. Good luck in your search Blessed Be!
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  #67  
Old 06-27-2010, 05:37 PM
immaterial immaterial is offline
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I got a lot out of this online essay:

http://freaksexual.wordpress.com/200...and-exclusion/

I also have been learning a lot browsing here:

http://www.practicalpolyamory.com/home.html

I also thought this essay on poly after cheating has a lot of good points:

http://polyspace.wordpress.com/2010/...fter-cheating/

Not exactly book recommendations, but it does seem there are excellent references on the webbernets.

Immaterial
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  #68  
Old 07-16-2010, 01:03 AM
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BOOK REVIEW: "Polyamory The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships", by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Published by IntiNet Resource Center, (c) 1997, ISBN 1-880789-08-6, 180 pages, $16.00. There were two earlier versions of this book, I believe that this one is the most recent version.

This is a solid introduction to Polyamory. The book is not a fun read, but there is a lot of good information in quite a small space.

The author comes from an academic background and that comes thru in her writing. Even when she is discussing her own story, the tone is clinical and detached. I think that this can be a bonus in some cases. If a loved one is hurting because a significant other is talking poly, a detached point of view may help them think rationally about it. However, it makes the book less fun to read than some of the other books I have reviewed.

Much of the contents of the book are similar to the second half of The Ethical Slut. This means that this book was less interesting to me personally. The first time you see something it is new and exciting. The second time it is old hat. I mention this because I had a hard time getting enthusiastic about this book, but I think, in part, it is not the fault of this work.

A section of the book I quite liked was a chapter asking if poly is for you. Dr. Anapol is up front about the sorts of behaviors make poly hard (and act as warning signs if you are trying poly). The next chapter talks about 8 things to make being poly easier.

In several points in the book, Dr. Anapol emphasizes that spirituality will help in your personal growth needed to make poly work. As not a very spiritual person, these grated a bit. However, they were not long and the rest of the book stands on its own without them.

A reoccurring theme in the book is that you have to be a mature, complete human being. You have to get your act together, in order for poly to work. The discussion of jealousy is much like that in The Ethical Slut, but more emphasis was placed on it being a pointer for the need for personal growth.

The chapter on if you are polyamorous and coming out of the closet was fairly new to me. She suggests that you be open but if you live in a very intolerant section of the country (USA) you may wish to move. She discusses the advantages that would occur if the poly community was more visible.

The chapter on building a poly family was interesting. Unlike Ethical Slut, where the two authors had successfully been enjoying their warm poly tribes for some time, the author here has struggled to build the loving family she is searching for. It is the most human part of the book and reminds us that what we are trying to do is not easy.

The end of the book includes chapter notes, references, books and movies that have poly in fact in fiction, and a directory (now dated) of poly organizations.

In summary I admire this book but had a hard time liking it. It makes a strong contender as a rational, calm introduction to polyamory.

Odd story: we searched for this book from the library, and they didn't have a copy. We requested the library buy it, and they refused saying it was an old book and they saved their budget for new releases. Then they changed their minds because there are few books on polyamory and it was such a popular subject! :-)

Warm regards, Rick.
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  #69  
Old 08-08-2010, 08:16 PM
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BOOK REVIEW: "Polyamory In the 21st Century: Love and intimacy with Multiple Partners", by Dr. Deborah M. Anapol, Published by Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc, (c) 2010?, ISBN 976-1-4422-0021-0, 269 pages.

The library ordered this book for us, so I felt I should read it. I was not looking forward to it as I found Dr. Anapol's book, "Polyamory The New Love Without Limits", a dull read.

I enjoyed this book far more than her previous one. She speaks with greater authority and her writing is more personable and fun to read. Additionally there are few examples that are copied from the previous work - most of the examples she gives in this work are fresh.

The book is not simply an updating of her previous work. There are new chapters on how poly affects children. (Seems good to her but no scientific studies which say one thing or another.) There is a chapter on cross cultural perspectives and then she talks about poly in myth, archetypes and human evolution.

She spends less time than in her previous book about the 'how to' aspects of poly. I think that the discussion on jealousy is slightly better in this book than her previous one.

She repeats herself a bit. The chapter on myth, archetypes and evolution repeated stuff from earlier in the book (but goes into it in more depth). This made the later section lose a bit of its impact.

This book lacks the bibliography of other movies and fiction and non-fiction discussing poly. If you would like this, look at the first book.

One surprise that I got is that her definition of poly includes those who are currently monogamous but are willing to allow other people into their lives, even if they don't have another partner now. By that definition, my wife and I were poly from the day we were married 15 years ago.

Overall, I can recommend this book much more strongly than her previous work.

Warm regards, Rick.
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  #70  
Old 08-09-2010, 02:20 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickPlus View Post
This is a solid introduction to Polyamory. The book is not a fun read, but there is a lot of good information in quite a small space.
I find it interesting that my views on books that you've reviewed here (that I've also read) are diametrically opposed. I find "The New Love Without Limits" to be utter crap and something to avoid. I find Moore's works to be thoroughly thought-provoking and of great worth (and I fully understand none of them are intended to address polyamory).

Most interesting.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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