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Old 06-21-2010, 02:58 AM
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sparrow sparrow is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1
Default Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?

Hello, all! I'm pretty new to this world (basically, I've only just dipped my toes into the ocean).

About a year ago, I 'met' a woman, K, online through a shared hobby, and we became fast friends. From there, our relationship has grown, and we finally met in person a few months ago to attend a convention. We clicked in person just as well as we had via chat, and I fell into fast, easy friendship with her fiance as well. Soon after, she invited me to attend in her wedding, which I gladly accepted.

Since the wedding, we've become far more open about our feelings for one another. It's been a difficult road for me to admit I loved a woman (especially a married woman who lives two thousand miles from me) as I've previously identified myself as straight and monogamous. I've always felt physical attraction to women, sure, but I thought it was only normal as chicks are hot >.>

Anyway, it became evident that every time we parted, it was growing more and more difficult to say goodbye, so I went for another visit only last month that lasted ten days. This time, rather than traveling and filling our time, she and I passed our days watching old movies and cuddling on the couch. When her husband was home, the three of us laughed and talked and worked on a creative project suited to all of our interests and talents - it was a truly amazing ten days.

When I returned home, I felt... off. Adrift and fretful, and for each thing K suffered in my absence (reprimand from her job for e-mailing me from work, dental procedure when she's terrified of dentists, her lease coming up for renewal at the end of the month with only two weeks notice), I felt all the worse for not being there with her and her husband.

Where K had been asking me to move closer for quite some time and I'd been trying to think of every reason I can't do so, but when the opportunity arose for K and her husband, L, to move into a two bedroom apartment, my heart couldn't pass up the invitation any longer.

Now that this relationship is apparently going to happen, I'm feeling both exhilarated and nervous. None of us have ever entered into anything like this before, and we're all on loose footing. I know I love K, and I definitely care for L because K does. L enjoys my company and tells K he could fall for me. I worry we'll make a mess of things, but even that can't stop me.

So I guess I'm here mostly for support and to know I'm not alone. I don't know anyone in a polyamorous relationship, and I honestly hadn't even thought in those terms until a friend of mine brought it up.

And having said all that, hello again!
“I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.” - Stephen Hawking
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