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Old 06-20-2010, 01:26 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
......something I have observed on occasion.... The mono in a married couple with one side going poly has an uphill battle. The thing I have observed, and this isn't always the case, is that the mono tends to be too reliant on the partnership instead of realizing there are other relationships out there. So many I have seen online, have no friends outside of the monogamous relationship.

This creates a real problem when the poly person starts going out. They are so dependent on the relationship that they feel loneliness. They start to go out and build other friendships and that helps. But then what? While processing their partner being poly they could possibly process it for themselves.

.......I wonder how things would be for them if they had a social life outside of the monogamous relationship, if they had friends to lean on in and weren't so dependent on the primary relationship.

It also leaves me wondering, how many poly identified people go poly because of that dependency. They do it as a fantasy or escape from being the "one and only"...that's a craptastic amount of pressure to put on one person.
I have noticed this too and thought I would post it here as a possible lesson learned. Thanks Ari

Note to self, don't become co-dependant, I need to find myself my own friends, interests, life outside of my family...
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boundaries, communication, foundations, guidelines, ideas, introduction, jealousy, learning, lessons, mono/poly, rules, veto, veto power

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