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Old 06-19-2010, 05:56 PM
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KatTails KatTails is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 374

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I think this is an important point.

It's easy to love someone when you have no responsibilities together.

When a couple has to deal with each other's shit, knows how bad it smells, and still chooses to love each other and work on the relationship, that's when you know you really have something valuable.

So maybe it would be helpful for those of you whose husbands have other, carefree relationships, to remember that even though it's no fun to do the dirty work, you're the one he's spending his life with, putting up with your shit (because you know you have it too), and coming home to at the end of it all.
Thank you SchrodingersCat - this is the point I was trying to get across. You did a much better and more succinct job of stating it. MG has not and most likely will not get to know 2rings at the level that I do because of our shared experiences as husband and wife. Does this take away from the love that they have? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Have they had a drama-filled, tough first year of their relationship? Yes. Does she love him enough to stick around? Yes. So I do know that they love each other and want to make this work. My point is the experiences that him and I have are monumentally different than the experiences that they have had.

I often get criticized because I tend to look at the negatives of this situation. I think as a mono that is pretty normal. This site helps me to see that there are other monos out there that are having the same experiences - and that THEY understand what I am going through. We all want to be understood. However, I often read the blogs and posts of polys - because I do want to learn more about this and understand how 2rings and MG are feeling. We come from two different ways of thinking and two different perspectives. Instead of criticizing or getting frustrated because someone sees things differently - we should try to have empathy and sympathy for each other and what we are experiencing.

My husband is my life. I have no regrets for marrying him, having children with him or staying in our marriage while accepting his poly lifestyle. But it is hard. It is a huge adjustment. It is a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days things are good and some days things are bad. I am doing the best I can to learn about this and to be accepting of this. I am not progressing at the rate that 2rings and MG would like - but I have come a LONG way. I am proud of myself even if no one else is.

Thanks - Kat
“There is only one world, the world pressing against you at this minute. There is only one minute in which you are alive, this minute here and now. The only way to live is by accepting each minute as an unrepeatable miracle."

Last edited by KatTails; 06-19-2010 at 06:09 PM.
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