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  #11  
Old 06-13-2010, 08:23 PM
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Originally Posted by rolypoly View Post
Personally, I think it depends on the individual.
Yup
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  #12  
Old 06-14-2010, 12:22 AM
Dragonmom Dragonmom is offline
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sorry but whats is NRE?
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  #13  
Old 06-14-2010, 02:12 AM
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sorry but whats is NRE?
new relationship energy
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  #14  
Old 06-14-2010, 03:05 AM
Dragonmom Dragonmom is offline
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new relationship energy
thanks
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  #15  
Old 06-14-2010, 12:33 PM
DharmaBum23 DharmaBum23 is offline
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Talking Nre..

Pros:
The world becomes rainbows and magic.
It becomes easy to get things done.
It ends someday.

Cons:
The world becomes rainbows and magic.
It becomes easy to get things done.
It ends someday.

In other words, I think that NRE's benefits and downsides are pretty much the same.

Being full of joy can be awesome but it also makes people self centered. Being able to "do things" pretty easily means that you get things done, but sometimes those things that you end up doing are bad ideas.
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  #16  
Old 06-14-2010, 12:55 PM
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I really can't comment, where as I am consumed by NRE at this moment, with no ending in sight. I do have a question for the more experienced Poly people..does the relationship die out after the NRE in most cases, or do many continue on with a calmer, loving relationship. I haven't seen alot of posts on quads and their longevity. I know in our case, all of us would like to see this relationship continue on for a long time to come, but are we really in touch with reality?
I will say, that the previous posted Pro's, fit us to a tee...hopefully we can settle into a calmer state, and enjoy that for some time to come. Last night, we all switched houses for the night, and no one had sex, come to find out. Everyone was tired, but I also see that we are a little calmer, as the weeks go by. Sorry to hijack ...just wondering what some of you thought about this.. Candi
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  #17  
Old 06-14-2010, 03:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by candi View Post
I really can't comment, where as I am consumed by NRE at this moment, with no ending in sight. I do have a question for the more experienced Poly people..does the relationship die out after the NRE in most cases, or do many continue on with a calmer, loving relationship. I haven't seen alot of posts on quads and their longevity. I know in our case, all of us would like to see this relationship continue on for a long time to come, but are we really in touch with reality?
Its just like a normal monogamous one. Once the sheen has worn off the reality of who the people are set in.

At that point anything can happen just like in "normal" relationships
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  #18  
Old 06-14-2010, 07:04 PM
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I'd say the relationships doesn't "usually" end unless it's meant to be so. Depends on the people, co-dependecy issues, being able to live and make decisions honestly.

A common scenario which I will make hypothetical:
Objectively, (like as far as the universe is concerned), 2 people get together and normally they would not work romantically. PersonA finds 2~3/10 things that they like in a person, in PersonB. PersonB finds 7/10 things that they like in a person, in PersonA. In NRE those things are amplified multiple times. PersonA thinks PersonB is AMAZING...often can't really explain it and feels it's something magical. PersonB feels the same thing, but is able to voice his/her opinions more accurately "for some reason". Eventually, when NRE dies out (2 weeks - 6 months) it could go either way.
1. break up because of a defunct relationship
2. break up because of a tip in balance, emotional issues, life goals etc.
3. break up because the feelings are just simply gone
4. stay together because of loneliness issues
5. stay together because a mutual harmony has been reached(love, good communication)
6. stay together because of complex obligations(kids, etc)

5 is the rarest, however all of these conclusions can merge with each other. A lot of times the relationships starts with NRE, turns into #6, and then eventually balances into #5. It really all depends on the people.
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  #19  
Old 06-14-2010, 09:38 PM
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I have something to add that is not a pro or a con, but a realization that I came to for myself. That is it is important to keep ones distance and wait for it to die out. Otherwise a whole lot of drama can ensue because emotions run high and the ones in NRE can become aggrivated.
I remember feeling this way with Mono and have felt it when Nerdist is in love. No one could tell me I was over reacting that's for sure.

Yup, waiting it out and going with it seems to be the best bet. The change comes for the other when its settled down and there is a chance to get to really know the new person in their regular state. At least that has been my experience this far.
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  #20  
Old 06-14-2010, 11:04 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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But RP...those moments in the beginning of a relationship can really create a great bond. I am thinking of when i was single. Those times when the hormones are racing, everything around you seems a blur, the rush of blood through the body...Its an untouchable tangible feeling that is unique to each merging.

I admit, it has lots of downs, and that is where controlling it, or tapering it, is key. But to hold back and wait for it to die out, I would think would have two affects

a) make it worse once you meet up like a balloon slowly filling with air, when you meet up it finally pops...
b) you miss out on the good of nre and possibly end up not having any connection beyond the friendship (ok this isn't ALWAYS bad, but I hope you get my meaning) Sometimes the NRE is a bond that can create the beginning of a relationship.

I 100% agree once a connection is made, that is wonderful and amazing btw. But those moments in beginning are so unique per connection that I personally would hate to loose that. I sometimes truly treasure those moments when I think back on relationships.

Very interesting perspective RP
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