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  #11  
Old 07-25-2009, 10:26 AM
Thespian Thespian is offline
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Thanks people for your kindness and thoughtfullness. I can't expect others to solve my problems but it's so helpful to be able to express my feelings to such a warm and compassionate community.

I'm sure the world will change.

with love
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  #12  
Old 07-28-2009, 12:32 AM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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You may be surprised how different the situation is when you are being honest about it, coming from a place of love with your true feelings on your sleeve. Yes, cheating is betrayal, but betrayal implies deception and if you are forthright, you have nothing to feel guilty about, and your wife will hopefully see that it is love and respect you are showing to her, not abandonment.
I have cheated on my husband before because I did not know how to do this. It was horrible because we love each other very much and I was selfish and hurt him with my own lack of self acceptance. When I recently met someone else I wanted to explore, I decided to stop the pattern and tell him. He shocked me by being fine with it- exited from the get-go, and now I feel we are being given a chance to really love each other fully- a relationship that was headed for divorce because I was too afraid and ignorant of myself to be open with him.

I am out of the cage, both in my pursuit of the occasional otherlove, and the torture of hiding my true self from the love of my life.

Be brave. It won't be easy, but it will be a new level of your own self-love and hopefully a deepening of your relationship with your beloved wife, Good luck- there is never a perfect time for these conversations so sooner is better than too late.
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  #13  
Old 07-28-2009, 12:42 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rarechild View Post

Be brave. It won't be easy, but it will be a new level of your own self-love and hopefully a deepening of your relationship with your beloved wife, Good luck- there is never a perfect time for these conversations so sooner is better than too late.
"Hopefully" is the key sometimes, this is true...there are no certainties in this.

Best wishes
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