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Old 06-09-2010, 04:20 PM
weareone weareone is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 15
Default Hi, not sure if I can do poly

but am interested as I have had 3 men since my divorce. He cheated on me it was awful. I went into recovery over it all. I'm very stable there now so all 3 men since my split are interested in me sexually, also claim to care about me/love me but none of them want to commit in anyway. I love one of them and care a lot for the other 2. I don't really want to be primary to any of them but want equal and honest/truth.

One can't handle poly and hasn't spoken to me since I told him about poly and I would be happy if he found someone else. He is not happy when I am with the other men. So I"m thinking he is kind of out of the picture in a sexual way. I feel a bit sad about that but am okay. He will either pony up and be a friend or just not contact me again. Nothing I can do about it. I do not want to be in an exclusive relationship with him. The man I love is basically a lying cheater and I've always been encouraging him to tell the truth to the other women about how he feels about me but he is so much a people pleaser so much afraid of getting into arguements etc. etc. I'm sort of at a dead end with him. I can't stand hurting other people and I believe strongly in truth and honesty. If I am with him I am hurting whatever current women is trying to be his primary gf and believing his lies or telling herself lies. Denial is very active in his situation. I have gotten jelous and have had to do a lot of work around sex/love addiction, codependent behaviour etc. That is a messy situation so I have only been with him once in the past year but talk to him pretty much weekly, let him kiss me etc. Does anyone have suggestions on how to encourage lying cheaters to go poly?

My most current lover is great. He likes the idea of poly but wants to be with me when I am with the other man, otherwise he says it could be cheating. I don't want to mix my men or even have them meet each other. So I feel a bit lost, isolated and confused. I have never had 3somes or group sex and am not interested at this time in those activities. I want to explore poly but am not sure how to go about it. Any advise would be appreciated. thanks for reading.
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