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Old 06-09-2010, 03:50 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default Seeking balance

Starting with a couple quotes from a previous thread........

Originally Posted by EL314
On the more vanilla sites I see many women who either want a relationship leading to marriage, and/or single mothers looking to meet someone (with the possibility of marriage implied if not stated). Very few state that they are looking for something less traditional.


PS: As a side note; it's pretty sad to see all the single-mother profiles that come up day-after-day. Each represents a failed relationship that usually results in hardship for the kids (and the mother).
Originally Posted by Idealist
I do think that women are especially vulnerable and prone to buying into the fairy tale images as well as the love songs and movies about love and how you have to find "the one" and how "I am nothing without you" and "I can't live without you" and all of those codependent ideas that our culture puts on us. The white dress and the whole wedding ritual with promises of "till death do us part" are the things that women tend to cling to with some amount of desperation at times which can be almost embarrassing.
Here are a couple comments/observations that are quite commonly observed.

EL314 takes note of the number of women he's encountering that seem to only have the "traditional" model in their sights. On another post he mentions the harsh reality of the single Mom position, children impacted etc.

Idealist follows up with her observations from a female perspective, largely substantiating the theory that a disproportionate number of women don't seem to be considering what might be progressive or logical approaches to allowing people into their lives that could make an important and positive difference.

So my question seems to be..............

What needs to happen here ?

IS it simply education ? How does that get accomplished ?

Is it visibility from the many wonderful women who are blossoming in their lives in this lovestyle ?

Who can contribute what ?

Like EL314, we have witnessed many women who via a different choice could have been leading a much more pleasant, fulfilling life with nothing more than maybe considering a broader range of options.

When does the "all or nothing" approach reveal itself as often self defeating ?

Would love to hear thoughts - especially from the ladies - on their interactions with other ladies in these situations and what those conversations MIGHT be like ?

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