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Old 07-24-2009, 03:12 PM
Thespian Thespian is offline
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 12
Default Rather scared newcomer ...

Hi folks,

My story is that I've been married for more than 30 years and I'm still deeply in love with my wife and I'm sure she is in love with me. We're never happier than when we're together, on holiday for example. We've never restricted each other's interests and friendships - we do some things together and some things separately. However we have always assumed the other to be "faithfull".

Recently I've fallen in love with another woman, as well. She is also married. However she has been able to talk to her husband about our relationship and he is happy about it. They still love each other and are bringing up a family together.

Neither of us knew about polyamory before we fell in love, she came across it on the web and it just seemed to be exactly what we wanted.

The problem is I can't talk to my wife. We've never discussed this sort of thing before. I'm terrified that if I talk to her it will destroy our marriage and her love for me. I've so much to lose. My wife knows that my new love and I are good friends, we have been involved in voluntary work together for several years and we regularly go off together for meetings etc.

From a few things she's said I think my wife is wary/jealous of my new love already, and if I started talking in general terms about polyamory she would immediately know that it wasn't just a hypothetical discussion.

My new love isn't happy for me to "cheat" in the normal way, she wants our love to be open and honest. Of course she's right, and so far we haven't consumated our love.

Is there anyone here who has successfully introduced a new love into an old established loving relationship? How did you do it?

I'm torn apart at the moment.
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