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Old 06-04-2010, 02:52 PM
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Acroxander Acroxander is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Diego, CA.
Posts: 15
Default New developments


I agree. I'm moving along nice and slowly for her. I didn't plan on leaping into a diamond situation immediately and just telling her to deal with it as though she's got years of poly living under her belt.

I *HAVE* arranged my first official date outside of our mono relationship. My Girlfriend tells me that she's a little nervous about it, and isn't sure how she'll feel once it's actually happening.

In any case. . .
Only time will tell just how she'll handle this whole operation. In the best instance, she'll love it and wonder why she hadn't tried it sooner (kind of unrealistic, but why project pessimism, right?.) At worst, she'll be totally unable to deal with it, and we'll have to split. I love her far too much to ask her to stick around in an arrangement that will eat her up inside.

I don't expect this first date to pass without some processing. But I've told my Primary that if she needs to process, she'll have to wait until after the date is over. I won't be fielding phone calls during my date or anything like that. If this date goes well, I'll probably want to continue seeing this other person, and my Primary knows that as well.

To be Continued. . .
Illegitimus Non Carborundum
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Old 06-04-2010, 04:01 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742

Originally Posted by Acroxander View Post
I love her far too much to ask her to stick around in an arrangement that will eat her up inside.

. . .
That is an great outlook Just don't make the decision to soon for her would be my advice. Redpepper used to have moments where she thought I would make a decision to split up for "her own good". I did in fact have those thoughts and admittedly still have extrememly brief moments of feeling that.

Hope it all goes well
Take care

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
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Old 06-16-2010, 02:12 PM
glowinthedarkstars glowinthedarkstars is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere under the rainbow
Posts: 173

Just wanted to say that when I first started dating P who is poly I wanted DADT as well but only weeks later I realized I wanted to know what was going on in his life even if I was scared or hurt. I would rather not to be kept in the dark. It is likely that as she explores this new relationship she may change her mind. if shes 100% willing to do this for you then she probably wont want to be kept in the dark if and when you are dating other people.
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Old 08-18-2012, 02:51 PM
Ttree Ttree is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 25

Any chance you could set her up with someone else too? That could be interesting
Especially as you're not the jealous type, you could encourage her to go for it... Maybe she wll start to get it. IMO a lot more people are poly than realise it. For me it activated once I realised it was an option, I started really noticing and caring for other people and now I can't seem to go back to only caring about one person in a relationship.
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change, jealousy, mono mono/poly, new dynamics

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