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  #11  
Old 06-01-2010, 06:44 AM
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Hm, maybe a new term for someone who is badly behaved or has inappropriate poly etiquette is in order.... ?
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  #12  
Old 06-01-2010, 11:44 PM
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Default Re:RP... Words I use

Quote:
Hm, maybe a new term for someone who is badly behaved or has inappropriate poly etiquette is in order.... ?
No short terms, sadly. On my good days, I identify 'em like this:
  • has some growing to do
  • not ready for X
  • not accustomed to Y
  • needs to show more respect for Z

On my bad days, I usually settle for one of these: [insert expletive], [insert a different expletive], [a third expletive], etc.

I'm half tempted to suggest something awful like 'amorasaurus' or 'polysaurus', to imply outdated ideas about love/relationships that don't work well in the poly context. Someone, please do better!
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  #13  
Old 06-02-2010, 01:43 PM
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I, too, have seen some pretty horrible behaviours in poly groups, and have done my best to distance myself from them. It may well be possibl;e for jealousy and envy to be dealt with in a positive learning manner within relationships, but I have seen it running rampant and uncontrolled within a poly community - I feel like saying "but people, don't you realise that it's possible to SHARE?!?!?!"

And yes, I do distinguish this from the cowboy/cowgirl mentality of getting into a poly relationship (or pretending to) with the soul goal of culling the one person away to have a monogamous relationship with them. Sometimes these people feel that poly is inherently wrong, are attracted to the person, and feel that the reason someone is poly is that they haven't met the right person yet, and, of course, they assume that they are that right person. I feel that that is pretty disrespectful of differences in lifestyle, but that's just me.
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  #14  
Old 06-02-2010, 02:30 PM
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the whole cowb/g thing kind of reminds me of a man I met when I identified as a lesbian that believed I hadn't found the right man and that he was going to be the right man. He had a crush on me before I became a lesbian but lived in another province. He came all the way from the other coast to pursue me even though I told him I had a girlfriend. I let him stay with me when he got here and he tried to convince me out of my lifestyle and relationship and went home disappointed. Never talked to me since, even though our extended families are friends... I was in someway a lost cause in his eyes. Then I met nerdist and married him and he gave up all together even being friends... defeated I suppose. Poor deluded man. I guess he finally realized it was him I didn't want.

how about poly prince and princess. The connotation of being whiners comes to mind with misbehaving polys no?
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:02 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post

how about poly prince and princess. The connotation of being whiners comes to mind with misbehaving polys no?
Actually that kind of sounds like a title...like Miss America or something. Then again the image beauty queens bring to mind is kind of prissy and whiny, point taken!
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Old 06-02-2010, 05:18 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Besides, sometimes people think I am talking about them when I'm not....
Folks will infer all sorts of silly stuff that have nothing to do with what you say. If, at a party with well over a hundred guests, you were to say "Somebody at this party is likely to be communist," indubitably somebody will pop off with a nonsensical "Why are you calling all my friends commies?!"

Foolishness happens. It's not your fault if somebody else reads all sorts of foolishness into what you say--it's entirely their foolishness.
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Old 06-02-2010, 05:25 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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I was thinking more along the lines of "crabgrass"--it can ruin perfectly good lawns.
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  #18  
Old 06-03-2010, 03:09 AM
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I was thinking more along the lines of "crabgrass"--it can ruin perfectly good lawns.
ooooo, I like that, or for a woman,,, butter cups... or morning glory, but then we have a perfectly lovely morning glory on here and really, morning glory isn't invasive everywhere.
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  #19  
Old 06-04-2010, 07:29 AM
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my friend called cowboys/girls "poachers" tonight. That fits better for me... chasing the animal down without others knowing in order to pull them out of their tribe.
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  #20  
Old 06-04-2010, 09:48 AM
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RP, I wouldn't worry about poachers in your relationship, you guys seem pretty solid.

You mentioned poachers in your first post here, and that seems like a good term. And if any animal poachers get offended, well good for them.

In general, I don't feel that any third party can come along and break up a happy, healthy, functioning relationship. Like concrete, there has to be some crack for the water to seep in before it starts breaking it up from the inside. A good solid foundation with proper ongoing maintenance will prevent such seepage.

To the poster who was in a network of 12+, it seems like that's a lot of people to have an extended tight communication network. Lots of room for cracks. I can't even maintain 12 casual friendships, so 12 romantic connections would be well outside my realm of possibility. Someone who's loosely on the fringes of that network would be "easy pickings" for someone who wanted them all to herself.
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