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  #11  
Old 06-03-2010, 08:34 PM
kittyb kittyb is offline
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Thanks for your input gabe.

My boyfriend doesn't like doctors, heh. It's difficult to get him to see one, but again I think once he/we have insurance, it may be easier. I concur on seeing a doctor and an endocrinologist, and I can say with confidence that he would shoot down the psychotherapy bit. He might go in for some couples' counseling if it becomes neccessary for the health of our relationship.

Just to throw this out there, my boyfriend is not a sexually inhibited kind of guy. He used to be much more into the D/s scene (sub) and he's comfortable with people of all sexual orientations and (legal) appetites. So I think we can pretty much rule out the idea that his condition is "in his head" or the result of fear or shame, or somesuch. He's cool and kinky and sweet about sex... it just doesn't interest him any more.

Anywho, I agree on getting him medically checked out before we embark on an unknown path.

And as far as whether or not being poly is for me, well, the first time I was really exposed to the idea of poly was when I read Heinlein's "Stranger in a Strange Land" and one of the characters in the commune towards the end of the book says, "Don't covet my wife, have her!" (or something close to that.) I remember being about 12 or so, reading that, and going, "Yeah! A whole house of people who love and share each other without jealousy or anger. Rock on. If only that kind of life really existed." But it's only in the past year or so that I've discovered that it is possible to set up that kind of a life, partners, primaries, and secondaries permitting.

And I didn't date or have a first kiss until I was 19, so I was dreaming about poly before I even knew what monogamy was like! Hehe.

But again, I want to take my time, consider things, and keep and treasure the relationship I have with the person I love. If in the future we can have an open, loving relationship with others, well then that's just the icing on the cake, right?
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  #12  
Old 06-03-2010, 08:34 PM
groovy9 groovy9 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcrazy View Post
"Awful, small, undertaking" are relative terms...Please try and speak for yourself in these matters.
On an anonymous internet forum, "it is my opinion that the following could be the case" is generally implied. Obviously, OP can't encapsulate an entire 5-year relationship in a single page of text, and I don't really want to have to read a disclaimer on every forum post.
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  #13  
Old 06-03-2010, 08:52 PM
kittyb kittyb is offline
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Hey groovy,

Yeah, ejaculatory anhedonia (EA) is a relatively unknown condition. We didn't even know that it was a condition until I found a message board with hundreds of men posting that they had the same problem, and that the medical community has been attempting to address (or mostly ignore it) for over 30 years.

To answer about my boyfriend specifically (although most sufferers have an individual range of loss of feeling from mild to complete):

He has no physical problems with intercourse. He has normal erections and normal flow of semen when he ejaculates.

Sexual contact feels a tiny bit enjoyable for maybe the first two minutes (i.e. from unaroused to erect) but then after that he feels almost nothing. If you picture the average sexual response to be like these plus signs:

00000+
0000++
000+++
00++++
0+++++
++++++


Then his, as he's described it to me, is like this:

000+000000000+0000
0+000+++++++0++++

A buildup of a tiny bit of sensation, with orgasm barely a blip at the end. And I can verify that neither his heartrate or breathing change when he orgasms. It's as if the dopamine or adrenaline producers/receptors in his body and brain have malfunctioned, the wires have been crossed, who knows. But he doesn't have a typical or very enjoyable time of it.

Here's a link to a very active forum thread discussing it:

http://www.hisandherhealth.com/sexua...without-orgasm

They've started a 2nd thread to continue it, since there are over 2000 replies to the first one. Here's part 2:

http://www.hisandherhealth.com/sexua...tory-anhedonia

This is not an isolated problem; it's just that no one's talking about it and the medical community isn't/can't do anything about it yet.
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  #14  
Old 06-03-2010, 08:54 PM
kittyb kittyb is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rpcrazy View Post
Overstock.com
Two-tone Crystal Extra Large Interlocking Heart Necklace
done deal, imho
LOL gabe. Giving suggestions for the Triad Gift-Giving thread, eh? :P

/giggle
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  #15  
Old 06-03-2010, 08:59 PM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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fixed...




***embarrassed***
__________________
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-"There hasn't been a person i've been with that I didn't love for 10 seconds to 10 years." David Duchovny
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