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Old 06-03-2010, 11:20 AM
AliceinCyberland's Avatar
AliceinCyberland AliceinCyberland is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: central California
Posts: 8
Default who wants to help a noob? anyone???

hi everyone

so, ok, here's my story....

i'm kinda new to this, my husband has been interested in being poly for quite a while (tho honestly, i didn't know that term til today). we had a bad experience with it in the past, he was sort of forcing it on me, & that sure as hell didn't work. this was about 12 years ago. he's met someone online recently, about 8 months ago, & they are having a relationship. she & i are friends too, & i like, love, & trust her, which makes things much easier to accept this time around. also, my husband is a much different person now than he was in the past. i'm still having some difficulty adjusting, but right now he's visiting her, so i guess i'm adjusting fairly well

i've always been monogamous & haven't felt the need for another person to be added to our relationship. i still don't feel the need or desire to be with someone other than my husband, but i'm learning to accept & deal with him wanting someone else in addition to me. i'm mostly there, just having some lingering jealousy issues i'm trying to work out. she lives in another state & i haven't met her face to face yet, but we've all been camming together & getting to know each other & i feel very comfortable with her. last night, we cammed while they.....well, you know (tee hee!!!), i joined in, & it was all good. i was surprised actually because i didn't feel any sparks of jealousy. i think if she relocated here i would handle it very well, maybe be a little weird for me at first, but i've come a long way, baby!!! i know in a poly relationship, all partners don't necessarily have sex, but i'm not opposed to it. before when we tried this, it was more about the male fantasy thing, being with 2 chicks, watching 2 chicks, but i did actually like that part *blushes* & if i hadn't felt forced into it, it would've been a good experience.

so, here's where the help comes in. at this point, i haven't met another person i love "in that way" & i think that would help me to really understand all this, cuz i'm still having a little trouble with the "why does he want another person?" thing. but how do i meet someone? i'd like to meet someone closer to home, our home situation doesn't allow us both to go at this time, or i'd be there with him right now. does anyone know a good poly dating site, or hey, send me a message if you're in central california & we can see if we click !!! i'm open to both males & females, & quite honestly am more interested in affection & cuddling than sex at this point, but that doesn't mean i'm not interested in sex too *giggles*

if you're still with me after all this babbling, i thank you for putting up with my rambles. i get chatty when i'm nervous, & like i said, this is pretty new to me. i want my husband to be happy, & of course i want to be happy too. any help on making the adjustment from monogamous to poly would be greatly appreciated. thank you so much!!

*hugs* Alice

p.s. hopefully, none of that was TMI
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