Originally Posted by Anne
Can there exist the wish to live a polyamorous life which is not linked to a special person? In other words, do people feel like "oh, Iīd like to have another partner, letīs get out and find one?"
I always tgought that itīs like in my case: First, there are the specific people, and then thereīs the relationship. How wrong am I?
I'm profoundly uninterested in monogamy, so 'polyamory' started for me by avoiding monogamous relationships, and that's not "linked to a special person".
That said, I don't ever think "I'd like to have another partner" (well, perhaps I thought something like that the last time I was single). I don't go out deliberately looking -- it's always about the specific person.
Some people definitely do just that, however. Sometimes I get a little judgemental about it, because it sounds to me like they're fixated on fitting some new person into some role in their lives that they feel is necessary to have. In other cases, it sounds like they're just really optimistic that there are a lot of people out there that would be great to connect to, and how would you know if you don't look. Which I guess says something good about their opinion of strangers.