okay, here it goes. this will be a long explanation so that hopefully i can get some good advice. i have been with my wife for almost 20 years. i was her first sexual partner and she is the love of my life. we have always had a some what open relationship. we have played with other couples and had a few threesomes. all of this was in the name of experimentation and curiousity. i think we have an excellent relationship, we have always been able to talk about all of our feelings. about 2 months ago my wife gets on facebook and finds her ex boyfriend, he is her first love, she is my first and only love. being a man the whole idea of getting in touch with the ex didnt sit well with me. we worked out my feelings and she made a weekend getaway with him. now i have shared my wife "pyshically" when we partied with others but this is the first time that i have had to share her emotionally. she has told me that she still has feelings for him and still has love for him. the wife has reassured me on several occasions that im her life, her love, but she cannot deny the feelings she has for him. i have been dealing with emotions of jealousy and insecurity and now i think that i am depressed. i have never allowed my self to open my heart to the possibility of loving another. not sure i can. my wife has always been my life. now she is planning more getaways and im not sure i can handle it. the whole emotional rollercoaster is slowly killing me inside. she has no plans to stop contact with him. how do the men handle the roller coaster? sorry i just kinda rambled, but i dont really have anybody to ask for advice.