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Old 05-27-2010, 05:26 PM
angel2fire angel2fire is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 3
Default New here and looking for advice :)

Hi everyone,

I'm happily married with a young son and have a wonderful wonderful husband, but struggle with bi-sexual urges. (I was exclusivly in relationships with women until the age of 19.)
Don't get me wrong, I can control them, and would never do anything my husband was against. Luckily he is really good about it and accepts that women and men are able to provide different things (emotionally as well as sexually.) He also says he loves and accepts me for who I am and does not want to try and change me.
I've had a "special female friend" for about 5 years, and we've got "close" on and off when neither of us have been in relationships, and also quite a few times since I got with my husband (with his consent.)
However, we were discussing our "friendship/relationship" the other day and decided we wanted to define it somehow. My husband agreed this woman can be my girlfriend, and says that it doesn't bother him as he trusts us both and knows she would never try to come between us.
The way I feel about this woman is much much more than a "crush." I love her with all my heart and miss her so much when I'm not able to see her for a while. As I said before, we have been "close" for 5 years, but just didn't think we could both give each other what we needed in a "monogamous" relationship, so never bothered.

So... what I'm wondering is how is this going to work :\

We are all due to go on holiday together in a few weeks and I'm really really nervous. What if I say something that makes one of them feel jealous... what if I spend too much time with one and not the other :\
Up until now, when I go to see her (she lives a 2 hour drive away.) I tell my husband we got "close" but he's specified that he would rather not know details. I think this is because he just isn't interested... I have asked time and time again if he is jealous and would rather I didn't do it, but he never says anything other than the above that makes me feel he might be.

Anyway, sorry for the essay. I was just wondering if someone could give me some tips on what has worked for them, e.g. what you do and don't say to your partner/s, and what "situation" you find works best, for example: Do you find it easier to see them seperatly, or does it work if you meet up all together?

Thankyou for reading, and sorry this has turned into an essay!

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