Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 05-19-2010, 11:59 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,397
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRainKing View Post
This suggestion is one of the best yet and since reading it I have spoken with the wife and girlfriend. We've decided we're all going to sit down together when he arrives, she'll say her thing and then if he has any questions for the rest of us we'll all talk it over with him together. I hadn't really even wondered why I was going to be the one doing the talking so kudos to you for the suggestion and thank you.

I appreciate you all taking your time to put in your two cents. Thank you for the valuable input.
Rainking-that is AWESOME!!

I think that's a GREAT plan.

I'm interested to know how you feel about how it goes-once it goes.



I think it's awesome too that you stuck through with this thread, explaining, answering, considering and pondering with all of us until you found an answer that really seemed to fit for you!
It helps ALL of us see options and how many different ways different people would solve an issue-which helps all of us in our relationships too!

THANK YOU!
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 05-20-2010, 09:14 AM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,130
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheRainKing View Post
We've decided we're all going to sit down together when he arrives, she'll say her thing and then if he has any questions for the rest of us we'll all talk it over with him together.
I'm all for open communication and having all parties present for the asking of questions... I just wonder if he might feel overwhelmed with all of you there?

This kind of "coming out of the closet" is not unlike telling your parents you're gay, and my gut says he deserves a little privacy for his reaction to that news.

Also, it may upset and even anger him. You and your wife may not want to be present to act as targets for that anger.

I would feel less "confronted" if my daughter broke this kind of news to me one-on-one, say they went out for coffee first, and then brought him back to ask any questions.

That's just the way I would do it, but everyone knows what works best for them, and the girlfriend is the only person here who knows her dad so if she thinks he can handle the news with everyone there, then that's cool too!
__________________
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 05-20-2010, 10:43 AM
Danny40179's Avatar
Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 241
Default

I'm with Schrod on this one. He may be a "cool" dad which may be why she suggested it, or maybe she just wanted you guys there as moral support. Definitely food for thought.
__________________

Live life to the fullest 'cause you never know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 05-23-2010, 01:05 PM
SchrodingersCat's Avatar
SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,130
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danny40179 View Post
I'm with Schrod on this one. He may be a "cool" dad which may be why she suggested it, or maybe she just wanted you guys there as moral support. Definitely food for thought.
Well, and upon further reflection, there also is the possibility that instead of being intimidating, having faces to put on the concept might make it a little less scary and theoretical, and allow him to see that you're ordinary people with honest intentions, not some kind of Satan-worshiping-sex-cult or something.
__________________
Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 05-23-2010, 02:07 PM
Danny40179's Avatar
Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 241
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Well, and upon further reflection, there also is the possibility that instead of being intimidating, having faces to put on the concept might make it a little less scary and theoretical, and allow him to see that you're ordinary people with honest intentions, not some kind of Satan-worshiping-sex-cult or something.
Very true. I know a lot of people who weren't too sure about our relationship before they met us. Soon as they saw the 3 of us in action they realized that we are really just another triad. Well, you know what I mean.

None of us here know him as well as his daughter and if she feels that the best option is for you all to be there then that's what you should do. One thing that life has taught me is that you never know.
__________________

Live life to the fullest 'cause you never know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:33 AM.