Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 07-05-2009, 04:52 PM
aussielover's Avatar
aussielover aussielover is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Just focus on the love and not the labels.

I'm lucky in that I could care less about labels. I will never let myself feel equal with Redpepper's husband out of respect for there relationship and him as a person. I like the supporting role
I feel very much like you in the respect that their relationship DOES come first and I will do nothing to jeapordize this. I'm not usually a labels kind of person, but for some reason I feel the need. Perhaps it is because I had a wife for so long.
This is all just very new to us too. What we were doing just seemed natural and the right thing to do for us. And then we find this whole new world of people and support and all these terms... It can be a bit overwhelming.

I do focus on the love that we have for each other. That's what gets me through these long days so very far away from my family. lol I'd just like to call them something but not sure what. I suppose it will come with time.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 07-05-2009, 10:15 PM
Sunshinegrl's Avatar
Sunshinegrl Sunshinegrl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 227
Default

How About just that Honey..Family. Cause thats what we are. Its does seem strange now that we have found this "explination" for what we this is...but it doesnt change it. Still the same relationship as before..But with a name.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 07-05-2009, 10:50 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

How's about just calling yourselfves Lucky LOL! Sounds like you are all on the same page and heading for a great future
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 07-05-2009, 11:13 PM
aussielover's Avatar
aussielover aussielover is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Home Sweet Home :D
Posts: 262
Default

True that baby. You're absolutely right.
Just kinda in introductions was what I was thinking...

hehe we ARE lucky. thanks Mono
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 07-05-2009, 11:41 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 344
Default

Intros can be tough....we're still somewhat in the closet in this small town. Out of deference to my wife and our other, I really like Mono's "lifelove" label. Secondary just doesn't do it.......
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 07-07-2009, 06:52 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,632
Default

I like to call my husband what he is and depending on the company, I call mono my "primary." It denotes that he has a place over others in my life, but not the same status as my husband. If I am introducing mono to people not in the poly community I call him my "boyfriend" or "other partner." I feel a bit strange calling him my "life love" as I feel my husband should be fitting that role.... but then I see mono as fitting it also, so I don't use it at all and it has become my name. If we were ever to get married I would call him my "other husband" I think. Marriage is a commitment that comes with it's own labels and I like to use them as they are respected in our culture as having loved each other enough to commit on a deeper level than simple boy/girl friend. That would seem fitting with mono and I.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 07-07-2009, 06:56 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
That would seem fitting with mono and I.
You are so doomed in a very good way
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 11-02-2009, 07:55 PM
rolypoly's Avatar
rolypoly rolypoly is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 350
Default

I love this thread!

I would ideally prefer to be able to introduce my partners by their names, plain and simply and not have to explain why I'm holding hands with someone that I haven't exclusively introduced as my bf. But, I live in a very small community. Just getting up and going for a walk with someone of the opposite sex immediately invites questions from at least one person, even when there's absolutely nothing sexual/romantic between us.

So, it gets complicated. I introduce 'R' as my friend, (it's much too early for us to have any kind of bf/gf/lover status) and when my lover 'D' comes to visit, I will introduce her as my friend as well. I also will not refrain from kissing her or flirting with her in public. That will immediately raise confusion and at least a few questions from other people in my community.

That's where I have no idea what to call them or what to say when people ask. If they want to know the truth, I'll tell them, but not without the fear of being misunderstood or rejected.

'R' is someone I'm falling in love with, feel a very, very strong connection with, but I'm not ready to be his gf, so I still call him a friend, not bf. My connection with 'D' is much more clear, simply because she's in a primary relationship with her gf. I am one of her side lovers and we're good friends. I'm happy being called her lover and don't need more from her. I also really love her, but I'm not in love with her.

I would hope that in the future, there will be acceptance when and if I call more than one person my bf or gf.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 05-20-2010, 02:17 PM
tinx tinx is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 2
Default What do you call your secondaries?

I'm currently debating this with my [fill in the blank] - what exactly do we call each other? What do you call your secondaries?
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 05-20-2010, 02:34 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinx View Post
I'm currently debating this with my [fill in the blank] - what exactly do we call each other? What do you call your secondaries?
I suspect you'll find a wide variation on this depending on who & where you are "calling" it to. It will likely depend on your life and lifestyle, the network of people you expect to interact with (family, co-workers, children, etc).

It may vary from "close friend" to OSO, lover, mate, soulmate......on and on.
Whatever is appropriate for the given audience. And sometimes it may just be their proper name and leave the audience to twist it in whatever direction their minds are capable of

GS
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
boyfriend, fun, girlfriend, language, lover, relationships, word

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:44 PM.