Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #41  
Old 05-16-2010, 12:52 PM
southerndreams's Avatar
southerndreams southerndreams is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville
Posts: 44
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by inlovewith2 View Post
Ah, whine. We so want a sleepover (gee I sound like my kids ;-)), and had the opportunity Friday night, but kidney stones got in the way. It will happen someday. I have to chuckle though, b/c bf has been single for so long that I think he enjoys sleeping alone even as he very much enjoys cuddling. He also claims I'm a bed and blanket hog ;-).
it's not hogging the blankets...it's your way of inviting him to cuddle when you're asleep
__________________
http://www.facebook.com/amberlyn.gray

I like friends.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 05-16-2010, 01:01 PM
inlovewith2 inlovewith2 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 117
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerndreams View Post
it's not hogging the blankets...it's your way of inviting him to cuddle when you're asleep
Oh, it most definitely is!
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 05-16-2010, 01:18 PM
Breathesgirl's Avatar
Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 834
Default

ksandra said
Quote:
How much control does your primary have over when/how often you get to see your secondary?
I don't THINK he has as much control as anyone else who goes out to see friends or family. A lot of our time together, or lack of, is due to circumstances like work schedules, kids schedules, etc. similar to what RedPepper and Derby are finding----getting time together with so much else going on CAN be a challenge. Tuesdays just happens to work for us because Breathes works his second job that night which gives me some alone time here at home so spending it with Possibility just makes sense & makes us all feel good about it since it's not taking time from Breathes or my kids. It also gives his other partners time to spend together as well. Oh yeah, it means Possibility & I get to eat some of the stuff the rest of our families don't like, lol, things like tuna.

southerndreams said :
Quote:
it's not hogging the blankets...it's your way of inviting him to cuddle when you're asleep
.

I like the way you think! I suppose that taking up 9/10ths of the bed is my way of suggesting that Breathes cuddle closer with me . I can handle that, lol.

All that said I'm finding that after years and YEARS of serial monogamy I am thoroughly enjoying the peace of mind that being able to have my two bestest friends in my life gives me. I'm also enjoying the freedom that having a non-jealous and non-possessive partner has given me. They genuinely enjoy each other's company as much as I enjoy having each of them in my life and I'm LOVING it!
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 05-17-2010, 10:50 AM
southerndreams's Avatar
southerndreams southerndreams is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Nashville
Posts: 44
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post

I like the way you think! I suppose that taking up 9/10ths of the bed is my way of suggesting that Breathes cuddle closer with me . I can handle that, lol.

All that said I'm finding that after years and YEARS of serial monogamy I am thoroughly enjoying the peace of mind that being able to have my two bestest friends in my life gives me. I'm also enjoying the freedom that having a non-jealous and non-possessive partner has given me. They genuinely enjoy each other's company as much as I enjoy having each of them in my life and I'm LOVING it!
you don't know how close to home you just hit with that last part. I no longer feel the constant manic buzz that I felt with monogamy. I know that D will support me when I have another partner. (I just lost the one I had. good riddance) peace of mind is a wonderful thing
__________________
http://www.facebook.com/amberlyn.gray

I like friends.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 05-17-2010, 11:04 PM
Breathesgirl's Avatar
Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 834
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by southerndreams View Post
you don't know how close to home you just hit with that last part. I no longer feel the constant manic buzz that I felt with monogamy. I know that D will support me when I have another partner. (I just lost the one I had. good riddance) peace of mind is a wonderful thing
Peace of mind IS a wonderful thing .

I was talking to Breathes about this yesterday. It's kind of like comparing apples and oranges, really. My last mono relationship (uggggg) was all about him trying to control me. I lost what few friends I had because of his control issues and extreme jealousy. The ones I'm in now don't even compare to that because there is NO element of control or jealousy what so ever! I do have that problem sometimes when Breathes has a new partner or one I don't like but they have absolutely no jealousy concerning me and my partners!

It's so nice to just be able to sit back and relax and enjoy friendships, courtships, relationships of all sorts without having to look over my shoulder to figure out when the ex is going to walk in the door and end yet another friendship!
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 05-17-2010, 11:22 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,395
Default

Overnights would be wonderful.
GG and I live in the same house-but my nights are always Maca's.
It would be REALLY nice to be able to wake up one morning having ALREADY gone to sleep in GG's bed.
Instead of having to get up at the crack ass of dawn and switch beds for the rest of my sleep!

BUT-I can't possibly complain-because having all of those little washing the dishes, flipping the laundry, good night stories with the kids, watching movies, raking the lawn, taking out the trash, that come with living together-we have each and every one.
__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 05-18-2010, 01:04 AM
saudade saudade is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Red face Co-housing makes the answer complicated!

I've been living with both of my life partners together for over a year now-- along with a bunch of other people. We cohouse in a townhouse together (sharing rent, utilities, groceries, chores, etc.) My two partners and I see each other daily-- they each have me overnight a few nights a week, and how we spend our days (after work/school/other commitments) is up for grabs.

I'm lucky enough that my girlfriend, my friend with benefits, and my lover-to-be (cheers to a complicated life!) are actually all moving in with us, starting this summer.

Up to this point, my friend with benefits has visited us on weekends and gotten an overnight or two each time. My girlfriend's been in college (graduating next month!) and visiting between semesters for a month or two. My lover-to-be and I have just been getting phone dates-- he's been living a few hours away, and we haven't spent much time together literally in years.

Now, we're actually in the process of revising our schedules-- particularly our sleeping ones, so that our world will still function.

As for a question about primaries getting a say in all of this... Everybody (not just my lovers) got a say on people moving in at all. Scheduling is a collective responsibility.

Living the dream...
__________________
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 05-18-2010, 01:34 AM
ksandra's Avatar
ksandra ksandra is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 78
Default

Wow that sounds wonderfully complicated!
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 05-18-2010, 01:38 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ksandra View Post
Wow that sounds wonderfully complicated!
Ditto..haha...I wish I had 3/4s of the complications.....
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 05-18-2010, 03:44 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 145
Default

My hubby sees his GF about 3 - 4 times a week, sometimes just briefly for coffee or dinner or something and 1 - 2 of those days are overnight visits.

I see my BF almost everyday, even if only for a few minutes. We both work in the same area so he often swings by my store just to say hello I spend 1 - 2 nights per week at his place.

As of May 22nd however, my BF is moving into the suite downstairs so we will see each other alot more often! We've agreed to keep the over night visits reasonable :P It's going to feel like NRE all over again, I'm sure

It's definitely 'calming' to be able to have some contact with both of them everyday, even if it's a text or email or phone call.
__________________
"There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." - Ray Bradbury
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:14 AM.