Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 05-16-2010, 05:45 PM
sumsumsum sumsumsum is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Southwest
Posts: 34
Default

Hi Blueflame!

I HAVE been in LDR's, but no, I am not in a LDR at the moment. Our GF lives just up the street! And further more, is a close part of both our work and social life.

I have no complaints, just wanted to say that I can see the benefit of the LDR; )

We are fresh, fresh, fresh and I figure things will either steam up or simmer down- right? I have had a few moments of needing some timeout but I really do not have much of a retreat place for that.

I am a little concerned for you that you felt forced into the physical aspect a little earlier than you were anticipating. Have you communicated with them about that? Are you doing okay with that now?

Wishing you the best,
Sumx3
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-16-2010, 06:36 PM
BlueFlame BlueFlame is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sumsumsum View Post
Hi Blueflame!

I HAVE been in LDR's, but no, I am not in a LDR at the moment. Our GF lives just up the street! And further more, is a close part of both our work and social life.

I have no complaints, just wanted to say that I can see the benefit of the LDR; )

We are fresh, fresh, fresh and I figure things will either steam up or simmer down- right? I have had a few moments of needing some timeout but I really do not have much of a retreat place for that.

I am a little concerned for you that you felt forced into the physical aspect a little earlier than you were anticipating. Have you communicated with them about that? Are you doing okay with that now?

Wishing you the best,
Sumx3
How great that you all live so close. I hope things work out for all of you. It's an exciting time.

I'm sorry to hear you don't really have a place to retreat to. Having time for yourself is so important, I think. I think in that aspect, having a LDR works aright for me even though it's a little hard because both my husband and gf tend to show love most strongly physically (hugs, kisses, snuggling, etc), while I'm more of an independent type who doesn't prefer physical love over other forms of love 'languages'. So I think I'd feel a little overwhelmed right now if she lived nearby.

Yeah I have talked to them both about how I felt. I guess I'm okay with it now, since really you can't re-do the past, but I do feel slightly resentful because I don't feel like I was able to ease into that with her and I feel like I lost something, or rather missed out on something, because of that. But it was the heat of the moment. I tried backing off, but she wanted it and he was watching and wanted it to happen, and I guess I wanted it too, just not then and not that quickly, but I just sort of gave in since they both really wanted it to happen.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-17-2010, 06:17 AM
sumsumsum sumsumsum is offline
Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Southwest
Posts: 34
Default

Right. You can never go back to holding hands.

I hope that your new experiences are filled with so much rightness that the little wrongness at the beginning fades in the distance. That should be easy if you are now being treated with the kind of love and respect that works for you.

Your story mostly touches me because my partners could be, like you; stating that they felt forced into a situation with each other because of what I wanted. So, thank you for posting.

I am reminded to step outside of my expectations and to allow folks develop at their own pace. And to also clearly state my truth and desire without being coercive. Tricky.

(I am going to try to find some "time out" this week. SO much communication, I need some downtime to process- I am suddenly happy for the work week to begin)

Warm Regards....
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:46 AM.