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  #21  
Old 05-13-2010, 09:37 PM
confusedpoly confusedpoly is offline
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Default The End

I don't know if anyone is going to come back and read this or wonder what happened but just in case I am going to write this.

My triad is over. I simply cannot do this anymore. I finally realized and admitted to myself that I deserve to be happy and I cannot be happy with the way my relationships were.

Going against my own decision I inadvertantly issued an ultimatium to my husband. I told him that I was leaving and that I wanted a divorce. He stopped me from literally walking out the door. He said that nothing and no one else mattered to him like I do.

So now our girlfriend is moving out and we are going to start couples counseling to see if we can save our marriage. I feverently hope so.

This is not the end of our problems it is still just the beginning. We have a long and bumpy road ahead of us.

I have learned many things about myself, my husband and relationships during the last 9 months. I have met some great helpful people who sincerely care and tried to help.

Although m polyamorous relationship did not work and I have absolutely no desire to start another ever again, I have a new found respect and admiration for those who can practice it successfully.
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  #22  
Old 05-13-2010, 10:05 PM
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CielDuMatin CielDuMatin is offline
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Well, at least I am glad that you have learned something about yourself and your relationship from this whole thing.

Sometimes, knowing what you can and can't have in your life (in other words, your "bottom line", or your non-negotiables) is a tough lesson to learn, but a very important one.

I wish you strength and clarity on your continuing road ahead, whatever form it may take, and thank you for coming and sharing at least this part of it with us.

And my wish for you is that, once this painful part is over, you will feel like you have grown as an individual through all of this.
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  #23  
Old 05-14-2010, 04:37 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedpoly View Post
I have learned many things about myself, my husband and relationships during the last 9 months. I have met some great helpful people who sincerely care and tried to help.

Although m polyamorous relationship did not work and I have absolutely no desire to start another ever again, I have a new found respect and admiration for those who can practice it successfully.
Good wishes to you Confused.
Like you say - the insights you both have gained can hardly help but pay big benefits for you both - as individuals and as a couple.
Whatever the future brings you will be able to hopefully tackle it better together as a team.

Hope you drop in occasionally and say HI !

GS
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  #24  
Old 05-15-2010, 01:19 AM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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I do not mean to sound negative... this is meant to be positive.
so what if you simply have given this your best shot and you simply found that want your heart desires is a monogamous relationship?
there's nothing wrong with monogamy, just like there is nothing wrong with polyamoury...hell i'll even go a bit further and say there nothing wrong with polygamy (just bad press from some cult religions..)
it takes all kinds of people and all kinds of relationship types to make the world go around...
follow your heart, communicate with your significant other...
maybe this was just insecurity or maybe this was your heart telling you that you want monogamy...
there was no easy way to solve this...no matter what you decided there was bound to be hurt....
you decided to do the figuring it out... didnt rush it tho, took time to explore. read up online, talked to others in your position....
in the end, if you follow your hearts honest desires, communicate, and love with all your heart...it will be ok. i promise.
sounds like you've pretty much figured it out, and i'm happy for you... theres nothing wrong with what you've decided...
good luck in life!!!! and i really do hope you and your hubby can work this out. it took a lot of love to say "no" to you leaving... I really wish you both the best. all three of you will have a lot of pain, but all i can say is what i said above.
((Hugs))) lotsa and lots of (((hugs))
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Last edited by NeonKaos; 05-15-2010 at 02:48 PM.
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