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  #11  
Old 07-13-2009, 02:49 AM
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crazyeights101 crazyeights101 is offline
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Originally Posted by SeventhCrow View Post

Usually, the unicorn hunting is a sign that the couple doesn't have realistic expectations.
I don't consider what i'm looking for an expectation. My fiance and I are perfectly happy together. Its only because i confided in him my intrest in women that he wanted another woman. I'm also not the selfish kind to want two separate relationships i would hope that everyone would be compatible in some aspect at very least on friend terms. After all if I sought another relationship outside my own this would be cheating and I am not about to lower myself to those standards. my question to you had we been searching for a male partner to both share would you feel the same way or is it just the male having two hot women in bed sterotype that caused this bias?
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  #12  
Old 07-13-2009, 04:06 AM
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Originally Posted by SeventhCrow View Post
AH...the unicorn hunters, seeking the elusive, hot, bi babe to make all their poly dreams come true!

That naivete is kinda cute, actually. The odds of the each of them finding a good match in another partner aren't large ('cause poly folk don't grow on trees) and they think that finding a woman who will match both of them equally is more likely than that. It usually doesn't take long for them to grow out of the unicorn hunting phase.

Usually, the unicorn hunting is a sign that the couple doesn't have realistic expectations.
This is not the first time Ive seen this moderator post something like this to a new person. And I don't blame those people one bit if they do get offended by those uncalled for comments. Who are you to go about telling someone what is "unrealistic"? (and even if it was unrealistic, why would you go through such effort to openly comment and offend anyone who might be looking for that? Wouldnt it be better to just let them seek what they are looking for, and wish them the best, no matter what?)

You know, it's actually beginning to appear that that maybe you just have personal issues on this subject. Weren't successful in your "unicorn hunting" as you call it, and so now you try to discourage everyone else?

Talk about a surefire way to drive people away from your site!
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  #13  
Old 07-13-2009, 04:53 AM
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DestinyWaits DestinyWaits is offline
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Welcome to the boards
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  #14  
Old 07-13-2009, 02:01 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyeights101 View Post
my question to you had we been searching for a male partner to both share would you feel the same way or is it just the male having two hot women in bed sterotype that caused this bias?
There is a little of that stereotype, but it has more to do with the "expectation" that the third person will connect with both members of the couple equally, and that the original twosome of the mindset that they are "searching" for someone to "complete" "their" relationship. [Edit: I have noticed that some folks, when this is pointed out to them, will backpedal and say "But OF COURSE we would all be EQUALS!!!" or something to that effect. But, it kind of shows what's going on in people's subconscious to begin with.]

In my own small but varied experiences, and from talking with other folks, I have never noticed a couple "looking for" a "male unicorn". I also have never come across a bisexual female "seeking" a m/f couple in order to become involved in a "closed triad".

Of course I realize that every relationship is unique, there are certain patterns that exist within relationships which are not unique.

If you read the posts here thoroughly, you would notice that the unicorn comments are not meant in a nasty, "you are not welcome here" way, but rather in a "join the club and take a number" kind of way, at least as far as I'm concerned. Also, 7th Crow and myself are not the only two people who have said these jokes about Unicorn Hunting. However, he has tried to explain it, as I am attempting to do right now, because people (such as yourself) have ASKED "WTH do you mean by that?"

Last edited by NeonKaos; 07-13-2009 at 02:06 PM.
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  #15  
Old 07-13-2009, 08:45 PM
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Welcome, hope you find what you are looking for!
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Last edited by smittenkitten; 07-13-2009 at 08:45 PM. Reason: spelling
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  #16  
Old 07-13-2009, 11:45 PM
XYZ123 XYZ123 is offline
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Welcome. And if you're hunting "unicorns", I suppose I'm wondering if they exist, if not actively searching. I don't know why there wouldn't be more. Most of the women I know personally who consider themselves poly seem to be happy with one man between two or more women. I've never known (personally) an active poly relationship with one woman and more than one man. I actually find THAT sort of relationship as a bit odd since I've always thought of men as less willing to share a woman with another man than a woman willing to share. And men being less comfortable with eachother physically, which is common if not always sexual between poly women. But that's just me.
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  #17  
Old 07-15-2009, 03:02 AM
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Funk2Lopez Funk2Lopez is offline
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Welcome to the board and happy hunting. I was one of the lucky few that found one. They do exist but finding them is hard and getting one that really works out is also hard. We are still working through some things and push each others' buttons but we know that we will work through each issue and we are still happily together and planning a vacation to visit hubby's family in September as a triad.

*crossing fingers and hoping all goes well there*
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  #18  
Old 07-18-2009, 09:13 PM
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[QUOTE
*crossing fingers and hoping all goes well there*[/QUOTE]

Best of luck for you that kind of thing can perplex some people hope all works out well thanks for the positive feedback
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  #19  
Old 07-18-2009, 09:21 PM
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crazyeights101 crazyeights101 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post

If you read the posts here thoroughly, you would notice that the unicorn comments are not meant in a nasty, "you are not welcome here" way, but rather in a "join the club and take a number" kind of way, at least as far as I'm concerned. "
Thank you for the clarification. Perhaps Seventh Crow just writes in a more opressive tone which is all a part of style. After all if we were in person and i could distinguish body language and tone there wouldn't have been confusion. I'm not hostile just a little taken aback to say this sort of thing and have people of the same mindset "shoot me down" so to speak. I could expect that from people who aren't in the lifestlye but then again i'm no pro to this lifestyle or anything. I don't want to step on any toes but i'm not the type to back down if i feel i've been misjudged. Perhaps you were just able to say the same thing in a less aggressive way. Thanks for the view.
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  #20  
Old 07-18-2009, 09:39 PM
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crazyeights101 crazyeights101 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
However, he has tried to explain it, as I am attempting to do right now, because people (such as yourself) have ASKED "WTH do you mean by that?"
Also on another note i didn't join this forum as a way of "hooking up" I joined this forum as a way to communicate with people who believe in this lifestyle and get some opinions. I understand this isn't a dating site and i'm not into trying a long distance relationship. just to clear things up
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