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Old 05-11-2010, 12:37 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Default The Rules/Foundations of Poly

I am starting a new thread on this below topic as I think it warrants further discussion.... here is what was written on another thread to start us off.

What do you see as being the Rules/Foundations/Principles of Poly that anyone in or going into a poly situation should know about?

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
The only foundation of poly that I can think of, and I think *foundation* IS the word to describe it, is that poly is based on open communication, empathy, mutual respect, love, caring, self confidence and honesty.

This is not unique to poly, but any solid relationship. That doesn't make it a rule, but the foundation to a good relationship.
As mentioned by Capricorny.....to start us off....there is some discrepancy behind terminology and that communication has aspects of a game.... any thoughts on that?
Quote:
Originally Posted by capricorny View Post
There you are. Foundation. Principles. To me, it is a bit of hair-splitting to insist on the principal differerence between basic principles and rules. Because if this foundation isn't in fact built upon, i.e. the principles given any power, we talk about intentions, not a foundation. And when the principles are given power, for instance I stick to communication in a situation where I might have been inclined to do something else, what then is the difference between a principle, foundation, and an (internalized) rule?

Rules come in all flavors. Some could be considered more restrictive, like the law of Moses, some more enabling, like grammar rules for communication.

And re games: Don't all forms of communication and interaction have an aspect of game to them? That your life has an aspect of game to it, doesn't make it a game. And if your life has no aspect of game to it whatsoever, I really wonder what it looks like
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Last edited by redpepper; 05-11-2010 at 01:53 AM.
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best practices, boundaries, foundations, guidelines, mono, mono/poly, monogamous, monogamy, principles, rules

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