Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Fireplace

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #11  
Old 04-11-2010, 03:02 PM
EugenePoet EugenePoet is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 145
Default

Quote:
I often wonder if some of the more arrogant, self-important posters would say the same things if sat around in a coffee shop, discussing the issues. I wonder if there would be the same amounts of INDIGNATION at others making statements, and so on.
No, there wouldn't. In face-to-face there are a lot of things that inhibit out-of-line behavior, from a flicker of disgust in someone's eyes right on up to a hard slap across the kisser. And a social group usually moderates a discussion before it becomes a shouting match and chairs get thrown. If nothing else, the barista calls the cops.

That's not the case online. On an unmoderated forum there are no really effective social penalties for bad actors. Even a moderated forum has trouble, I suppose partly because moderators are making decisions based on text posts and they don't have all the social cues we get in face-to-face. The social control mechanism is a lot more artificial and less organic.

I dunno, that's just my opinion. I wouldn't want to be arrogant or indignant about it.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-11-2010, 03:26 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by EugenePoet View Post
Even a moderated forum has trouble, I suppose partly because moderators are making decisions based on text posts and they don't have all the social cues we get in face-to-face. The social control mechanism is a lot more artificial and less organic.
Back in the day, if a Sysop booted you, that was the final decision and crying about "oppression" or "censorship" was irrelevant.

These days, with the internet spanning the globe, there is an illusion that it's all about freedom of speech everywhere. In reality, most websites (such as this one) are PRIVATE PROPERTY that is being shared conditionally by the owner(s).

So - just because you live in a "free country" and have titular "freedom of speech", doesn't mean that you have the "right" to have a keg-party in my yard, and if you try to, I DO have the right to make you GTFO.

(that's the general "you" not "you" as in a particular individual on this forum)
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-12-2010, 12:30 AM
River's Avatar
River River is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NM, USA
Posts: 1,894
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
....These days, with the internet spanning the globe, there is an illusion that it's all about freedom of speech everywhere. In reality, most websites (such as this one) are PRIVATE PROPERTY that is being shared conditionally by the owner(s).

So - just because you live in a "free country" and have titular "freedom of speech", doesn't mean that you have the "right" to have a keg-party in my yard, and if you try to, I DO have the right to make you GTFO.
True. And at the same time the situation is more complex than a simple private property equals totalitarianism dynamic on the web. Many web forums intentionally cultivate various forms of democratic spirit and practice because they like to see themselves as a "community". But, of course, even actual real-life communities have police, rules, laws..., even democratic ones.

Many participants and moderators / administrators here at www.polyamory.com have intentionally cultivated a kind of spirit of community (and very informal democracy) here. And I see this as a good thing. In community, everyone's feet can -- when necessary -- be held to the fire -- whether formally or informally. I'm happy to have a spirit of informal community and democracy here. We don't have to literally vote on who moderates or performs administration. And that's well enough for me. But I do think we should continue with a spirit of accountability, so long as it doesn't require superhuman powers on the part of our generous volunteer cops.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 05-08-2010, 10:49 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
Custodian
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
Posts: 3,221
Default Elaborated FB Status

I remember telling DDial "I'm bisexual". Somehow the [not] "secret" got out, and I attempted to set the record "straight" by posting a disclaimer in my "message" slot (you would type /m# (# = any number or letter) and a custom announcemt would scroll across the screen at 300 baud). Mine said "Yes I'm bisexual, I don't care who finds out, so stop acting like you have access to classified information" or something like that.


Immediately, the board was split into 3 kinds of people: Those who didn't give a shit, those who thought it was awesome and said "me too", and those who began to haze and harass me with "choose a sex, Neon" and "why would a woman want to lick another woman's pussy".

As for the last one, I'm here today to say "why WOULDN'T she?"
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:40 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CielDuMatin View Post
See, I don't think that that world has changed, necessarily. What I think has changed is the online culture. It's gone from a bunch of people who had the internet in common (where it was a rarity) to a ubiquitous tool where people can hide behind the typed word as a screen that bypasses the usual norms of social decency.
Exactly. September never ended. (A reference for the old folks among us.)
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 05-09-2010, 05:47 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,186
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by River View Post
Many participants and moderators / administrators here at www.polyamory.com have intentionally cultivated a kind of spirit of community (and very informal democracy) here.
What? You mean it's not an indulgent tyranny? I've definitely failed my inner misanthrope....
__________________
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:14 AM.