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Old 05-09-2010, 04:50 PM
MrRusty's Avatar
MrRusty MrRusty is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Yorkshire and Kent
Posts: 42
Default Everyone is Poly underneath

Hey, just come out of a conversation with my poor hurting mono partner - poly is new but feels like a homecoming to me. Anyway we talked about guys she has enjoyed in the past. How wonderful is that, less than a week in? What a woman!

Bear that in mind - I am on a bit of a high as you read this and any dedicated monos please don't be offended it's just a theory born of the exuberance of this moment in my life.

Anyway, there will be more preamble than theory if I don't start soon:

I think everyone is poly really. After all we don't love our kids mono-fashion, we don't love only one of our parents (usually), we have multiple friendship partners. At our best we fill the world with mutual affirmation and love.

But, but, but - when it comes to sex, we are frightened. Male lions eat the cubs of the lionesses they will soon have sex with when they join a new pride. deep down we have this visceral fear of what might go wrong if we are not sure about who belongs to whom. Which children are mine, which women are mine, which man is mine? It's all insecurity driven.

Society has internalised this fear and protects us against it with monogamy. In religious words, marriage is God's gift to a broken world.

Underneath all that we are all bubbling over with love for each other. It's just human nature. But as with other aspects of life, most of us - all of us to a certain extent - allow our thoughts to be strongly influenced, even controlled by the society of our peers. In short social norms become our innermost thoughts. We repress all this and accept monogamy as the 'natural way'.

Into this world, from time to time are born and maybe nurtured, children with enough self-assuredness to question society and to analyse their own thoughts. They're not anything special, no amazing insight, no superior intellect, just an odd ability to distance themselves from society more than can the common man (man embraces woman throughout (teehee)).

We - I'm one - score high on business measures such as "challenging the established way of doing things". And with our vision thus unclouded we conjure a picture of a world where love flows freely between us all, where we can all express ourselves fully and freely with neither guilt nor jealousy.

And a few of us are brave enough - even if it takes decades - to try and make it happen in reality. In bits and pieces, baby step by baby step we want to liberate ourselves and those around us. We want to permit love to be expressed wherever it bubbles through. No guilt, so shame, no secrets.

Mono is, I believe, just an acceptance of the social norm and the fear that drives that norm. It's not the natural state of loving humans. One day we shall see its demise, and the world will be joyful.

I'll get me coat.

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