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  #31  
Old 05-08-2010, 12:40 AM
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Purple is awesome
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  #32  
Old 05-08-2010, 12:42 AM
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Geez, what's the etiquette on a marriage announcement if "we're getting to know each other" warrants card stock?!?!

All jokes aside, I'm going to pat myself on the back for avoiding crawling under one of those shells outside my door.
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  #33  
Old 05-08-2010, 12:46 AM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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We could write it on the back of paper napkins or old register receipts and save the purple cards for later.
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  #34  
Old 05-08-2010, 01:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Roly-maybe not "normal" but BETTER than normal.

Too often people don't find their emotions extending to include the loved ones of THEIR LOVER. That causes so many damn issues!

When you can extend the way you were describing-it makes a MUCH more cohesive relationship.
I agree. Thankfully, I find compersion so darned easy. How can you not get all fuzzy inside!?

So, then the question I have is how to know the difference between the feelings you have for the person and the feelings you have for the circumstances. It's never clearcut.

Could RP and Mono have gotten together 10 years ago? No. He was married, so was she and he is not poly. But, with the present circumstances and all the hard work they've done, this time in their lives they find themselves crossing paths and extending RP's family.

If Nerdist and I were meeting 10 years ago, I doubt our connection would be anywhere near the same and I also doubt that the nature of our connection would have gravitated towards starting a family. So, it's similar in that the current circumstances and the timing are all key factors.

There are many parts that fit and because they're not conventional or straightforward, I am needing to wrap myself around them.

Nerdist and I are also both very sensitive and emotional. From past experience I know that I tend to get sucked in and lost when I connect with another sensitive, deep thinker. And I need a lot of space to ground and come up for air. I have my doubts that it would be healthy for me to be primary or monogamous with someone who's as intense as me.

It feels like there's a huge part of me, a very important part of me, that is being seen and understood. This is incredibly rare for me. But, I'm also recognizing that there are other parts that aren't as compatible and that need balancing out. And I know that I couldn't be to Nerdist what RP is, obviously.

So, I guess these are the joys and benefits of poly!

This is honestly one of the most intense rides I've ever been on in my entire life and I'm glad that you're all here to say, "been there, done that".
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  #35  
Old 05-08-2010, 01:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
We could write it on the back of paper napkins or old register receipts and save the purple cards for later.
Later? You mean there's more?
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  #36  
Old 05-08-2010, 02:34 AM
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Remember when we first met roly. We have so much similarities... the same tattoo even! Yet there are definitely differences. I feel like I am more city wise, more gruff and stern than you are... just as emotional, but on the quick to anger side...

these are the areas that nerdist has come to rely on in me and is now not so reliant on. I am at a weird transition with him in that I am not sure of my role in his life. I have always been the strong, determined, forward thinker that protects our interests and the path we have forged... I am not as needed in that department now. He is forging a path that is his own, more than ever. I am fascinated to see what will happen next and who I am to him now...

I find it just as fascinating to see how his relationship with you will unfolds... to me, you are the version of myself that he needs now. The version of myself that I think he would like me to be... I am not what he would like me to be. I am just as loved, but I am off in another direction, pulled by Mono and now derby and others in my life.

The base of me is the same, the base of you is the same and that similarity we have is what he loves. I know it will be okay, because that is the essence of what he loves about me... it totally make sense to me that he cares about you. It makes me love myself more and care deeply about you too. I look forward to what that means and look forward to a long drawn out courtship of that. There is so much time and it feels so good to lavish in every moment and discovery.
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  #37  
Old 05-08-2010, 03:45 AM
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Wow. I'm a bit blown away.

Yeah, I do find it funny that we have the same tattoo and the same initials, same hair colour... LOL! To be fair, look at Nerdist and Mono. You have a type, my dear.

In this vain, I think I have two types. And I'm starting to think that a balance between the two is a healthy combination, much in the same way that you and I seem to compliment each other.

You are the strong, determined protector. I'm definitely more like Nerdist in the way that I am sensitive. I feel my way through life and sometimes struggle with the more executive decisions.

I'm blown away by your generosity, RP. I feel sad knowing you think that you are not what Nerdist wants you to be. I know that he and I have a very unique connection. But it's not the whole picture.

I'm also very, very glad that this transition is having the effect that you love yourself more!! And I care about you very much also. I care about all of you.
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  #38  
Old 05-08-2010, 03:50 AM
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OK....with all the new things going on and everyone having someone in thier life I am officially anouncing my poly relationship for the first time on here. I have been holding back because I have sworn up and down that a person can be wired mono....well I have a confession. There is two other loves in my life...one smells like leather and rubber and the other is the hairiest pussy I have ever kissed....I am in love with my motorbike and Redpepper's cat...there you have it folks....I'm a fraud
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  #39  
Old 05-08-2010, 04:14 AM
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You're a nut and I love it!
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  #40  
Old 05-08-2010, 04:36 AM
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Wow. I am blown away too. For different reasons that rolypoly's likely.

I feel compelled to comment on a few things.

redpepper wrote: "I am at a weird transition with him in that I am not sure of my role in his life."

I can understand how this is unsettling for you. A lot has happened, and continues to happen. Many things have changed. Personally, I think it is a momentous occasion to be able to throw some of the roles that we have played into the trash. It's the beginning of another level of freedom. The freedom to BE.

redpepper wrote: "I am not what he would like me to be. "

On the contrary. I want you to be *you*. You are doing that. How could I not want that? Many years ago, I did not fall in love with a "thing," I fell in love with a person: you.

redpepper wrote: "I am just as loved, but I am off in another direction, pulled by Mono and now derby and others in my life."

Your and my paths run parallel, then intermingle, then cross, then jet off away from one another, then turn, then jet towards one another, then cross, then intermingle, then run parallel again. Such is the magical dance of our relationship. In whatever part of the dance you or I may feel that we are at in this particular moment, we are still in the dance. We are *always* in the dance.

with love, Polynerdist
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