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  #51  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:30 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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Exclamation Update/Question

Well everyone its official Wifey and Nikki have takin there relationship to the next level. They have decided that they are now in a committed relationship with eachother...titles and all...

My question is now that they are at this point do I talk to them about making our triad complete? Or should I just sit back and wait until they bring it up to me?
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  #52  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:37 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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my logical side says let it develop naturally...
my emotional side would punch my logical side in the face and proceed to bring it up
Emotion winning the battle of wills..

ummmm...I am not in a successful tried or v...so take either piece of advice as you want
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  #53  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:42 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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Well I spoke of making it a triad prematurely and was told that they were not ready however I feel like since circumstances have changed that I should ask.

"I've seen some significant changes in the relationship between you two and wandered if now would be a good time to discuss being a triad?"

I feel like I would be trying to capitalize on their progress but at the same time I'm thinking that it would make since to ask since things have changes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
my logical side says let it develop naturally...
my emotional side would punch my logical side in the face and proceed to bring it up
Emotion winning the battle of wills..

ummmm...I am not in a successful tried or v...so take either piece of advice as you want
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  #54  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:44 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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But maybe their relationship isn't ready to add you yet?...

The point of my sarcasm was to hint towards letting it develop naturally. They probably know what you want and if they mutually want it will ask. ...
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  #55  
Old 04-29-2010, 03:30 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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I'm getting tired of waiting!! Its been 5 months.
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  #56  
Old 04-29-2010, 03:41 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
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I'm getting tired of waiting!! Its been 5 months.
Well consider the fact that they haven't moved towards something you want. It could mean that it won't happen or they are waiting for you.

Are you comfortable enough talking to them about the topic without someone holdign any resentment? If so, why not have the conversation again. Put the bug back in their ear
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  #57  
Old 04-29-2010, 04:07 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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Had that conversation last night the response I received was the same response I received when they were just dating which is my wifey saying she isnt ready and my involvement would haul her progress with nikki and that she doesnt know how she would feel about seeing nikki and I on the same level as her and nikki are. It's a lose lose battle for me and I'm tired of feeling like there has been no progress to add me into the mix slowly and Ive been waiting 5 mos and I havent seen any fruit from my labor. Plus Nikki isnt going to disagree with wifey and say she is ready to be in a triad because she would feel like she is putting pressure on her. This is all very frustrating and its getting difficult to keep my feelings for nikki at bay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Well consider the fact that they haven't moved towards something you want. It could mean that it won't happen or they are waiting for you.

Are you comfortable enough talking to them about the topic without someone holdign any resentment? If so, why not have the conversation again. Put the bug back in their ear
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  #58  
Old 04-29-2010, 05:56 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polytriad View Post
Had that conversation last night the response I received was the same response I received when they were just dating which is my wifey saying she isnt ready and my involvement would haul her progress with nikki and that she doesnt know how she would feel about seeing nikki and I on the same level as her and nikki are. It's a lose lose battle for me and I'm tired of feeling like there has been no progress to add me into the mix slowly and Ive been waiting 5 mos and I havent seen any fruit from my labor. Plus Nikki isnt going to disagree with wifey and say she is ready to be in a triad because she would feel like she is putting pressure on her. This is all very frustrating and its getting difficult to keep my feelings for nikki at bay.
um, I think it's done.

I think they just don't want to hurt your feelings at this point and really are not all that interested. They probably thought that, "mah *shrug*, it could be kinda fun, but not that much fun."

I think it might be time to put your energy else where and see what you have been missing out on for the last five months and move on to your own stuff outside of them.

Just a thought.
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  #59  
Old 05-06-2010, 05:25 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
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Default New approach

I have decided to have a new approach to our pending triad. When you meet someone you dont just jump to just being together, instead you date and things go from there. Now the way I have been approaching things now has been when they are ready then it will just be.

I'm going to ask them to let me date them as a unit that way she and her can decide together what pace is best.

I don't understand how I thought it would be ok to just go right to "we're together" before we have even dated.

Thoughts?
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  #60  
Old 05-06-2010, 06:57 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by polytriad View Post
I have decided to have a new approach to our pending triad. When you meet someone you dont just jump to just being together, instead you date and things go from there. Now the way I have been approaching things now has been when they are ready then it will just be.

I'm going to ask them to let me date them as a unit that way she and her can decide together what pace is best.

I don't understand how I thought it would be ok to just go right to "we're together" before we have even dated.

Thoughts?
I agree with most of what you said, with one exception. This is what I would suggest. Don't ask them if they are willing to date you as a unit. That is going to make them start thinking about it and possibly over analyzing it. Just start thinking of things to do that they both like and say "Would you guys like to ________ next weekend???"

Basically......Do it and stop talking about it. Start dating them as a unit without saying that's what you're doing. And if they say it, act pleasently surprized. I think it needs to seem natural to them. I think they may feel more comfortable if it just naturally happens. Relationships just naturally happen by spending time together and enjoying each other's company.
Good luck!!
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